Guided by the Stars (GxG)

No.10

"Anything planned for today?" Washu wondered while putting on the leggings and an oversized jumper. Noticing her athletic body it was apparent she kept herself in shape even though she couldn't exactly use it during her training. "What?" she lifted a brow when asking.

Giving her a cheeky grin, she groaned and pulled the jumper down. "Creep," she muttered and I laughed.

"Glad you are keeping yourself ready, but I told you there's no need to work this hard," I pointed out without a second thought, but when her greyish eyes have snapped into mine with so much intensity I felt taken aback. Have I said something wrong?

"Elina," she began calmly yet a heavy sigh indicated just the opposite. "Never mind..."

I was confused. "What?"

A minute of silence before the answer, or rather the lack of it. "You won't understand, let's not."

Growing annoyed; how could she say such a thing. "When have I not understood?" I accused with hurt, my face grimacing at the comment.

A tiny scoff pierced right through me. "You never did," she explained with a weak smile. "Elina, my friend... I trust you with my life and I will follow you anywhere, but—" she paused for a second before speaking again. "You aren't the best when it comes to understanding feelings to put it out lightly, so I never expected for you to understand."

My heart shattered; how did we go from a nice morning to such heartbreaking confession?

"I'm not..." words a mere whisper coming out of my mouth. "I still feel you know?" There was a crack as something that I hardly ever acknowledged was being said.

Her touch was more unpleasant than usual, and so I pulled away from her hand. Right now she wasn't my salvation, but an enemy.

"I know Elina, that's why I fucking love you and don't expect you to understand what I'm going through. But have you ever asked how I am?"

Before I could argue she interrupted. "Like how I feel about everything? How it affects me?! What I am going through up there alone!" her voice raised as tears broke out, another thing I was incapable of.

I was speechless, and she was right. I didn't know much about her thoughts, my only concern was to keep her alive, yet sometimes a beating heart didn't define living.

"So please, don't tell me that I don't have to train when all I'm trying to do is to fucking survive. I won't be some helpless sheep when the real danger comes. Instead, I will be by your side facing it head-on."

Have you ever been so stuck in your own bubble that when it finally popped you didn't know how you could have been so oblivious? Stupid even.

"Okay." That was all I said before getting ready to leave.

"Okay?" she repeated, clearly not satisfied with this conversation ending on such a note.

"What else do you want me to say?" My teeth gritted as I packed the bag. "You are correct, I don't"—pausing I looked into her saddened eyes—"I don't know feelings, might as well be an empty can, but that doesn't mean I don't care... that I don't hurt. Nevertheless, I'm sorry for not being a person you could console in."

"Elina, that's not what I meant. Of course you feel, I— shit. I'm sorry, not sure what's gotten into me, I didn't mean to lash out..."

Giving her shoulder a reassuring tap I whispered, "I know." Even though we both knew she did. "I'm going to see Haze after class so don't wait for me."

"Elina..."

Loosening my muscles I smiled wearily. "Honestly? You are correct. I've always treated you like a glass that's about to break. You are strong, heck maybe even stronger than me. I was ignorant and avoided this topic because I was scared to face the truth. I cannot keep you locked up till you die, that's messed up. You have the right to fight for yourself, and I will be there with you. Okay?" Standing in the doorframe I added, "I will find a way so you won't have to go back up there. I promise."