Sixty-two

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Morgan grabs a tissue and wipes off all the jelly she's rubbed on my stomach

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Morgan grabs a tissue and wipes off all the jelly she's rubbed on my stomach. After fixing my blouse I stand up and she leads me back to her office about three minutes later. We sit down and her smile reappears like a rainbow after the storm.

"How did this happen? You were on birth control and I was expecting you in two weeks, I suppose, for another injection," she asks me.

"I don't know. I was hoping to get the answer from you, who happens to be the professional here," I reply with a shrug.

She squints her eyes and confusion erodes her confidence. "I can't tell, honestly. But it can happen. A human body is the most complicated machine on Earth, and its performance is influenced by so many factors. Maybe you took some kind of medication that slowed down the effect? Or maybe—"

"It doesn't matter," I utter with a soft laugh, my eyes fixed at the sonogram photo. "I'm already pregnant and it's all that matters." I rub my tummy again, too happy to even think about medical possibilities.

"God, look at you. And all this time I thought you'd never want to have a baby. I mean you and Patrick," she says casually, and I know what she means.

"He doesn't know that I'm pregnant, and you're not going to tell him about it," I tell her firmly, my voice ever serious. She frowns a bit until I clarify, "As you already know, he doesn't want another kid and we're currently separated as a couple. I don't want my baby to be caught up in this."

"Jeez, I'm sorry, Mia. And you know I don't have anything to discuss with that man unless you two come here together for consultations," Morgan says matter-of-factly.

She's a wife and a mother of four kids of her own. I'm sure she can understand me.

"But . . . regarding the pregnancy and your health, Mia." She sits straight and gives me a concerned look. "You're not doing so well and I can tell why from the news you just gave me. But if you want that baby to grow up, you gotta take extra care of yourself first."

Apparently, I'm dehydrated and my energy levels are super low. It's a surprise that I can walk and even attend to my daily routine. From that I ought to expect intense dizzy spells that can result in unconsciousness if I don't address it sooner.

"I'm prescribing you some vitamins, but you need to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, protein for the baby, and mostly . . . drink insane amounts of water daily." Morgan continues while jotting down on a notepad. "And more importantly, you need to rest, Mia. I can see it in your eyes that you don't sleep enough."

"Okay." I nod wistfully, even though I know to keep this pregnancy growing is another battle in my fucked up life. "I'll do everything you say." It's a note to self.

A smile of respite adorns Bill's face when I assure him that everything is fine. My pregnancy, however, is still something I prefer to keep to myself. Thankfully it's too early for it to show, which means I have some time to put everything in order so I can raise my baby peacefully.

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