Chapter 17

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Please don't be here, please don't be here!

I squeezed my sister's hand so tight she scolded me, "Calm down! If he is here it just means you can smooth things over sooner!"

When the carriage came to a stop in front of us, the curtains swayed and I could see it was empty. My legs turned to jelly in relief and I let out my held breath.

Raina turned me to her and made me look her in the eye.

"Row, everything will be okay. I bet by the end of the day everything will be worked out just like it's supposed to be." Raina kissed me on the cheek and hugged me tightly.

"Thank you, I love you so much you don't even know," I squeezed her back and felt tears in my eyes. I wished so badly she could come with me.

"Where is Mama?" Raina asked, looking around the crowd. "She said she would be here to send you off."

We waited a couple of minutes but then one of the servants said, "My ladies we really should be off, we don't want to be on the road after dark."

Frowning, I looked around one more time. There was no sign of her.

"Oh well," I said nonchalantly to Raina and ignored the sting in my chest. "Tell her I love her and goodbye for me."

Raina made a face, checking one more time for her then nodded and hugged me again.

"I love you, now go get your man," she winked and I blushed.

With that, we climbed into the carriage and set off.

Lillian and I spent most of the trip talking about the upcoming ball and what it would be like. She took forever explaining exactly what she wanted her dress, makeup, and hair to look like. I was fine with this because it was a good distraction for keeping my mind busy.

The sun was setting when we turned on the road I knew led to the palace. I started to feel nauseous again.

In through the nose, out through the mouth, I repeated over and over, coaching myself on breathing.

Lillian looked at me in sympathy. She still hadn't asked for details but at this point knew the miscommunication I mentioned was with Finn and I desperately needed to talk to him but was nervous out of my mind. Also, I was upset with Cedric but again, no details.

The carriage came to a halt and when the door was opened we saw Cedric beaming at us.

"Hello, Lady Rowan and Lady Lillian! You have been greatly missed but I do hope you had a good time visiting home."

"Oh, we absolutely did!" Lillian said, her voice sweeter than usual. Knowing the last thing I wanted to do was small talk with Cedric she immediately took his arm and steered him toward the palace. She was animatedly telling him of the trip home, and he was listening intently.

Looking over her shoulder at me she smiled and winked.

I mouthed the words 'thank you' to her.

When it was clear Finn was not coming to greet us, I was momentarily relieved but then even more anxious. Did he not want to see me?

"You two are the last to arrive, everyone else is in the dining room waiting to begin dinner. So we will go straight there if that is okay?" Cedric looked back at me as I trailed them.

I nodded and when it looked like he might ask me something, Lillian pulled him closer and started questioning him about that ball. I tuned them out.

My heart was in my ears when we finally stepped into the dining room.

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