Subjected || Harry Styles [AU]

eighteen

A n a s t a s i a

There have been many instances in the past where love has been a questionable topic for some. It is a word defined by adoration for a being or object. It is piled within the positive category of emotions, yet that seems rather foolish to me. The placement of the word within a bundle of joy and blessings seems so undermining when it can be so torturous and painful.

As the English playwright William Shakespeare once said, "true love never did run smooth". I supposed that this was a true representation of love. It is beautiful, exciting and new, yet raw, hurtful and confusing all at once.

I had never properly encountered love in the sense where it was shared between me and one other person. My partner or my soulmate. A teenager normally would not experience that type of feeling unless they were very fortunate. Living amongst other teenagers underground, there were relationships between some of them, although I never engaged in that myself. I was never drawn to it; and as I grew up, I merely thought that love was a fantasy.

But this has changed since being above ground and amongst the Vampire race. I suppose that it has taken a while but I have warmed to this new life and most importantly the person who has given this all to me. Harry Edward Styles was a quizzical character when I first met him and he still is, but there are feelings there which I have never felt before.

The past couple of weeks have been different for me. I have been shielding these feelings as if they did not matter. I had not spoken to Harry at all about them and I was scared. I was petrified of the possible rejection, or perhaps the ultimate fact that he was still deeply in love with his lost lover.

I have learnt many aspects of life since living in this world, and one of those is love. You know that you are in love when you do many of these small actions which add up to the bigger picture. There are certain unconscious actions between one another. And perhaps on some days, all you want is for him to cuddle you and hold you until you fall asleep. The love is even shared between those simpler actions, whether or not you are awake. It is still there.

When you really think about it, love is crazy and fanatical. There is one being out of the millions that still exist on planet earth, yet this particular person is made for you. You may eventually find this person upon your journey of life and suddenly everything makes complete sense. These aspects of yourself which you grew to hate become something that they love. And the sad part is, you may fall in love with this person despite these minimal conflicts, yet you may not always end up with one another.

You could either marry them or break up with them. It may seem disastrous if it was the ending, mostly due to the fact that you share everything with one another. You tell them anything and all, no matter what the consequences. They will not judge you for it. This is the crazy thing about love. Someone can accept you for all of your faults, and it is perfectly fine because they adore you.

I had experienced many of these feelings with Harry in the past month. It has been ever-growing and I feel as if I finally realised the real reasoning for this. I know that it must be true. I have researched and read so much recently that some of what these stories say must be honest. Books are partially based off of real experiences. I know that they are and now I understand what they are trying to convey.

When it comes to Harry, I experience such a wave of emotions. He believes that his fatal flaw is the fact that he is a Vampire, whereas I think that it is what makes him wholly stronger. I cannot go a day without thinking about him and the thought of us being together. Being in his arms whilst he covers me in an array of delicate kisses leaves butterflies swarmed in my stomach. Seeing his kind smile makes my day, and all of these other little elements of him are visible throughout every moment spent in his presence.