Soulmates ✓

16 | The Empty Crevices - Part One

What the hell is he doing?

The question seems irrelevant because the moment Ryan met Shay, he knew he would end up with her. The question that rattles in his brain now is more about proximity. Each second passing with Shay in his arms, his heart and mind are in a constant war. It's like she belonged there all along.

By the time they both settle in the small space of his car, and the engine purrs to life, he decides to leave all the doubts back in her apartment and take care of her till she doesn't need him. He shifts his peripheral vision to watch her tiny self drowning in his suit jacket and her hands tugging at the thigh-high slit of her dress to cover her tempting long legs.

Ryan tightens his hold on the steering, willing himself to look away. She keeps leaning against the window, her eyes closed and fingers tightly holding the broken pieces of her lover's souvenir. Her vulnerability is like a knot in his chest, pushing all the reasoning out of the scenario.

Technically she is still a forbidden affair, his dead twin brother's lover, and the girl Aarav had always been possessive about until he died.

Ryan squeezes his eyes and grinds his molars not to let his desires for her take over. He has hardly moved past his breaking resolve when she shifts, and her bare legs are there to tease him again. Ryan curses under his breath and takes the shortcut with less traffic to his apartment. The sooner he is out of this confined box with Shay merely a hand's distance from him, the better. It will save him from the guilt that has started crowding his existence.

Shay straightens by the time the city disappears behind the walls of the parking lot, her eyes fluttering open. She yawns, then finger-combs her hair, looking adorable doing it. Ryan has missed these cute little habits of hers all these years, and now that she is here to throw reminders at his face, he doesn't know how far he can hold off from falling for them all over again.

When she takes a glance at him with her fingers slowly coming to a halt around the ends, he decides it's the right moment to step out of the car. Under no circumstances does he want to make her feel uncomfortable around himself.

He circles the rear of the car and opens the passenger door. Her doe-like chocolate-colored eyes move from his solemn face to his outstretched hand beneath her face. It's the one that doesn't have signs of any violence.

"Come on, Shay," he says softly, quietly.

For a moment, she stares at his hand as if it scares her like she doesn't want to grasp the promises that come with it. He's well-versed in his want to smother her, but his guilt is skin deep. He doesn't show that to her though, not yet. Tonight he wants to make her feel safe and save her from the demons of deep pain, even if for a night.

Shay clasps his fingers, allows him to pull her out of the car, and follows him towards the elevator. He slides a card on the panel inside and hits the loft. It's the first time someone is about to enter into his cold, concrete den, and the fact that it's Shay fills his heart with a warm fuzzy feeling.

She looks so tiny beside him. Her face still carries remnants of the night's cruelty that makes him feel guilty all over again. As they ascend, he reaches out and tucks her against his body with her cheek against his chest. It feels undeniably the most beautiful feeling in the world. It scares him how beautiful it is, but it doesn't stop him from being greedy for it.

"I'm sorry," he whispers against the top of her head. The light scent of her lavender shampoo fills up his nostrils, calming his senses. "I should have been there for you."

"I've missed you, Ry," she says back, and her words tighten his chest. "A lot."

The elevator dings, and she springs away from his hold. It's as if the spell broke, and they are back to being distant again. At least, now he knows she missed him too, but can't seem to put the past behind.