26 | A Song Of Broken Souls

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"Ryan."

It's been ages since he heard that voice. Ryan has no idea why it sounds so faint and Kafkaesque as if sinking into a mist of blaring horns and distorted chatters.

Every fucking part of his body aches and burns to reach out to that voice. His head pounds, and his skin feels like he is on fire.

From the tip of his fingers to the back of his throat, and his limbs all feel numb.

"Ryan! You've to -wake up," the voice calls softly, almost fading away.

God, that voice. That haunting, surreal voice. Aarav. That's his twin, the other half of his soul, calling out to him, probably needing him. His head feels heavy and his body heavier.

But that voice, that voice he can't ignore. He needs to reach out to that voice. His eyelids have to be sandpaper. They don't function as he wills.

"Ryan. Wake up."

No. Ryan doesn't want to. He can't open his eyes only to watch him fade away like so many times before. If this is a headspace or some realm between worlds where he can hear Aarav and see his illusion, Ryan would rather stay here.

Faint, incessant beeps pull him away from the fantasy and try lunging him into reality, a reality without Aarav. He needs to be in this make-believe world even for an extra second. It is something he always wanted. Then what is it that is making him hesitate?

"Ryan," another familiar voice vibrates in his eardrums.

This voice feels real and even though he wants to ignore it. He simply can't. His skin ignites where a hand now holds his cheek, running gentle circles, and a drop of warm liquid lands on his neck. God, he can sense her touch even when he's half-conscious. It's her. She's here. She cares. He shifts and moans. Raw fire surges through his veins, and he's hurting everywhere.

But he wants to stay. He wants to come back to reality for Shay.

"Ryan, please open your eyes." Her voice holds so much pain that it cracks. "You need to come back to me. I can't lose you."

"Shay," his voice barely leaves his throat, and his eyes still feel too heavy to open. He needs to see her, hold her and anchor himself in her world.

"Yes, Ry, it's me," she chokes out his name, moving her hands down to circle them around his hand, and that contact pulls him straightaway back to Shay.

If someone is to tell him that he died and reached heaven, he will believe them. Because being able to feel her touch again is nothing less than heaven itself.

"Are you here, Shay?" Ryan needs to know if this is real or one of his many dreams. He has been living this dream for god knows how many days. His eyes blink against the white fluorescent light; they refuse to open.

Then he feels it. Her warm breath fanning his face, and at last, her soft, soft lips brush against his forehead, each of his cheeks, and land on his dry lips, mumbling, "You're awake. You're awake. You're awake."

A sob clogs up his throat, and his eyes flutter open to collide with her red-rimmed, slightly swollen, and teary eyes. They hold so much fear but also hope and excitement. "I'm right here, Ry. Not going anywhere, never, ever. I promise."

Ryan tries to squeeze her hand in his hold and shifts to consuming her in his embrace, but fucking pain shoots through every part of his body, and he ends up closing his eyes again.

He does not know when was the last time he cried, but as the memories resurface, he feels warm liquid pour down the corner of his eyes. He remembers every fucking detail, and it only makes him even more miserable.

God, his car was hit by a truck. It was so sudden that he didn't even realize what was happening. But when it happened, he was pulled back in time, surrounded by the icy, skin-prickling fear of death. When his eyes blinked open to the blaring traffic lights and hazy images of the crowd, he got reminded of that black stormy night, the night when his half-conscious self could hear the faint painful voice of Aarav calling out to him. Every cell in his body wanted to reach out to him, save him, protect him, but his limbs and mind betrayed him. In that half-conscious haze, he saw his soulmate succumb to his end and leave his side forever.

An agonizing cry breaks through him. No one can ever erase that memory from his brain. Shay sniffs against his neck, and Ryan knows that until they are together, this pain will be at least bearable.

"Aarav. He must be so scared and in so much pain, Shay." Ryan groans out an ugly sob.

"It's okay, Ry. He's at peace now." She shifts to his side and lays on the bed, careful not to hurt him. Her head falls slowly on his shoulder, and she moves her hand over his heart. "We will find our peace too."

Ryan holds her eyes, marveling at the painful scars that she carries so bravely. She is the girl he has always been in love with, even when she didn't know, and he will keep that secret to himself to honor his twin brother's place in her life.

She wipes the tears falling down the corners of his eyes and mumbles, "Promise me you'll never get into another accident ever in this life. I need you to stay alive for me, for us."

His attention drops to her hand over his heart - her naked finger. Shay took off the ring.

"For us?" He breathes. It's a question he wanted to ask a long time ago. Even in grief, can two broken souls be one?

Her body shakes as she cries some more against his neck. "Yes, us, forever."

That's the only song that plays on repeat inside his head, fading away all the ugly voices of regret and hollowing cries of sorrow.

He knows maybe this is his chance to let go of the ghosts of the past and build a life for himself, the one he had stopped living a long time ago.

***

AUTHOR'S NOTE

So, we're nearing the end of this story and I'm already feeling nostalgic. Accept my apologies for the late updates, but it's finally here.

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