25 | The Falling

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She's falling, falling into the depths of lonely shadows.

Falling hard and fast each agonizing second.

She has fallen into this pit of despair before, a long time ago.

And she is falling again. It's so quiet and dark that she can't see or hear anything.

She falls.

And falls.

And she keeps falling, ready to hit rock bottom any moment now. But instead, she tumbles around like a lost traveler, alone and hopeless.

So alone and hopeless.

Her chest collides with the hard edge of the front desk as she finally manages to push past the ugly flashbacks and arrive at the place where she may once again break. Shay desperately hopes she doesn't.

She asks the desk nurse for his room number, gulping down the painful sobs.

The emergency room.

Then, she is running down the tiled hallway, heels echoing and nostrils burning with the smell of antiseptic. She counts the rooms, one after the others, finally coming to a halt outside the ER.

Shay pauses and looks at the bright red emergency sign. Her hands shake as she wraps them around her middle, unable to muster the courage to wait for the outcome without falling apart right there.

Matt appears next to her. His eyes are red, his hair is unruly, and his crisp white shirt is covered in blood. The sight turns her stomach, and she breaks into tears, leaning her head against the wall.

She is back in time, in a hospital back in her hometown, and her parents are breaking the news of Aarav's passing. Aarav, her best friend, her lover, and her soulmate, is dead. And she couldn't even say goodbye.

The rage comes back as she stumbles away from the ER.

It is so unfair. It is happening again. Only this time, Shay is fully aware, not in a coma. She is right here to witness the same horror again.

"He was in bad shape when I brought him here, lost a lot of blood, and-" Matt stops when her face crumbles at his words. "They had to start the surgery, and they're going to run a few tests later."

"Is he in a lot of pain?" Shay nearly chokes with the heaviness of the word.

"He's going to be okay," Matt says, looking in the direction of the drawn curtain. "They're trying to stabilize his condition."

Okay?

He got run down by a fucking truck, left there to bleed to death. It is not the first time. Shay is witnessing someone she loves close to their deathbed, and all the time, everyone keeps saying in their somber voice that everything is going to be okay. Well, it's never going to be okay if history repeats itself.

"It was supposed to be me. I should've never let Ryan take up my work." Matt mumbles beside her, cursing under his breath as he sinks onto the chair.

His words feel like a double-edged knife. Shay hates the idea that the tragedy has to befall her life every time. When she is finally ready to seek the happiness she has always craved, it again feels like a far-fetched dream.

Just breathe. Nice and slow. Ryan is not going to leave you.

Shay slumps down on the chair and sits there while they operate on Ryan. The time seems to work at an agonizingly slow pace.

Her head feels silent. She feels numb.

She can't breathe.

Even if she does, it's not reaching her lungs. Because what's the point anyway. All she can gulp down is pathetic wheezing and the fear of losing yet another chance in love.

Her head falls back on the wall behind her. Her fists tighten in the fabric of her dress, and she prays to all the gods in heaven. Ryan can't die. If he does, Shay is sure to lose herself completely this time. She may not be able to live either.

Oh, God. Why does this have to happen again?

Why aren't the doctors coming out? It has been two hours.

Will he make it through? The nurses do not say anything. Maybe he will not.

Then she hears her name. "Shay." Someone somewhere is calling for her, but her mind is too fuzzy. She wanted to be high on love. But here she is doped in pain. She hears it again, a little rushed and urgent. "Shay." Her heart lurches to her throat as she's shaken.

She blinks her eyes to see Matt gazing at her with those anxious green orbs.

"Ryan," She sobs, remembering she has been sitting there for hours, and maybe the way Matt is looking at her, the result is finally at hand. It can either give her a new life or take the one she's barely living. "Is he-"

"He's alive, Shay. He pulled through the surgery." Matt cuts her off, grabbing her firmly by her arms and nodding his head.

Shay breaks down, her form shaking under his hold as sobs rack her. "He's alive. He's not going to die?"

"No, Shay. We're going to take him home." Matt smiles through his tears, and that instantly transfers to Shay.

"We're taking Ryan home." She repeats, choking through sobs that won't just stop. Only this time, it's a mix of relief and happiness. "Ryan is alive."

"Yes. Ryan is in recovery, and they are moving him to the ICU. They said he's out of danger now, but there are multiple bone fractures, and they'll have to run a few tests later. I know he's going to recover fast. He's tough like that."

"He has always been the strongest. And he's alive," Shay mumbles. Then she is up and running down the hallway as they wheel his bed out of the ER while he's still unconscious.

He's alive.

And Shay needs to see him, hold him in her arms and never let go.

***

AUTHOR'S NOTE

So, we just two chapters away from the end of this story. Accept my apologies for the late updates, but it's finally here.

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