So Long, Not Goodnight

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Outside, the sun was weary over the skyline bathing the clouds in yellows and oranges, flames that roared right above them. Smoke drifted up from the embers of their cigarettes as Frank and Gerard leaned against the wooden banister of the back porch. 

Frank had borrowed Gerard's car to run out for more supplies as he requested his boyfriend stay inside and work on an assignment that he had given him to do before he returned. Gerard felt like he was back in high school, procrastinating an essay that was due just hours later as he sat at his kitchen table staring at blank lines of a spiral notebook with a pen between his thumb and fingers. He felt nervous, like he was standing on the edge of a canyon staring down at the abyss that lay right below. Nonetheless, he finally thought of the right things he had wanted to say, things that he needed to ask, and wrote them all down with spaces in between. Just as he had scribbled the last word and put the pen beside the paper, the front door opened. Perfect timing.

Frank stubbed his butt out into the ashtray they shared as Gerard continue his slow drags. They were content with the suburban silence of rushing cars, children's laughter, and distant dogs barking. It was a good reminder that there was life that continued on through it all, that the world continued to push on to another time, gaining distance away from all the yesterdays. Gerard pulled in another lungful of smoke, staring up at the setting sun and blowing out a cloudy stream from his nose. Frank reached over and lay his hand on top of Gerard's, rubbing his finger up and down in comfort. "You sure you're okay with doing this again?" He asked as Gerard butted out his cigarette. 

"Nothing went wrong last time," Gerard tensed up, taking a deep breath. "And I trust you."

He's safe with me. He turned to face Frank who smiled at him and patted his cheek before they receded back into the house in preparation for tonight. Frank browsed over what Gerard had written down, nodding and drumming the pen against the table as he read. On his outing, Frank had picked up a few more cylinders of salt, many beautiful and fat altar candles in a few different colors, and a dozen roses... Also more lube just in case. Before returning home, Frank had stopped at the library to print out Jake's alumni photograph from the college website Gerard had found him on, even though seeing his sadistic smirk made them both feel physically ill. 

The sun had been long gone and the moon took it's place in the sky, just as bright only with muted colors. Gerard went upstairs to change into sweatpants and a sweatshirt as Frank gathered everything and brought it out to the porch. He set up black and silver candles in two curves opposite each other, lighting each one carefully in the still of the night, thankful there was barely a breeze. He extinguished the match, tossing it aside and reentering the house for the final piece and finding it on the dining room table. His fingers tingled as he removed the flimsy cardboard lid and extracted the Ouija board and planchette, bringing them outside and setting them up just as they had before. Frank took his place at the top of the board, legs criss-crossed, fiddling with the pen and notepad as the sliding glass door whooshed open. Gerard pushed it closed as he stepped onto the porch and then finding his place at the bottom of the board, directly across from Frank. He mirrored Frank's position and rubbed his palms over his knees, trying to dry the cold sweat. "Ready?" Frank reached for Gerard.

Gerard nodded, taking Frank's hand. "Let's do this."

They placed their fingers onto the planchette, moving the circle in the same infinity loops around the board. Frank watched as Gerard's eyes blinked closed, looking more relaxed than tense, and he followed casting everything in darkness, only the feeling of the sliding token beneath their fingers in focus. Loop after loop after loop, Gerard spoke. "Helena. Are you near me?"

The planchette steered out of their path to Yes. "We would like to talk to you. Is that alright?"

The token still for a second and then repositioning over it's previous answer. "Okay," Gerard let out a shaky breath. "Okay..."