AGENT JEON || JinKook

9. Disgust

Jungkook took a quick look at Jin who seemed to be in deep thoughts while staring at the lake inside the park premises. Sitting on the bench just beside the one where Jin was sitting, he didn't know how to start a conversation. But he never had to think more as Jin spoke, surprising him.

"This is my happy place." Jin smiled even though there was a spark of loneliness in his eyes. "When I am with my son, or this place, they are my safe space. I used to go here a lot. This place brings back only happy memories."

Jungkook brought his gaze to the lake, some hills could be seen from afar. The trees and grass surrounding the lake were lush, and the cool breeze blowing, touching his skin, indeed, the place felt comforting.

Jin wiped his tears as he remembered the happy memories the place was giving him. It was sweet, happy, but there's also a hint of bitterness. "I always wait here. Hoping for someone to be here, see me, save me. Life is lonely inside that mansion. It is huge, beautiful, everyone would think, oh, I wish I live there. It must be fun. It must be grand. But the beauty does not represent the real deal inside. It's terrifying. Disgusting. Sad."

An awkward silence followed and Jin suddenly laughed in tears, "I always hope to see him here. To tell him I'm sorry."

Jungkook returned his gaze to Jin. Not knowing what to say. His heart broke for Jin. He didn't know if he was worthy of Jin's secret. And he wasn't sure if he needed to give Jin advice or if Jin needed it. Or if he had the right. "I don't know who you are talking about, but I'm sorry to hear your misery."

Jin looked at his hands while he fidget with his fingers. "Namjoon was never my boyfriend. I had someone before him. But I left that man. Without telling him why. It feels awful until now. I feel terrible. I know he's angry. Probably confused. It feels worse because he's all I want to be with. But there's no chance. I don't even know if he still wants me. I doubt that he still does, but I am still hopeful. I want to be hopeful even everything seems hopeless. It won't hurt to hope. It feels frustrating that I cannot do anything but hope."

Jungkook stared at Jin while Jin tells his story. The more Jin spoke, the more he could feel the pain Namjoon was causing him. The more his eagerness for revenge sparked. "Why are you entrusting me your story? Aren't you aware that I am loyal to your husband? I could tell him those."

Jin smirked, "Then tell him. That's why he's acting like an asshole because he's aware of my past. He's insecure about someone he doesn't even have a clue who. And I am telling you those not because I trust you. I am telling you those because I don't have someone to share my pains. You can tell Namjoon. I don't care."

"Your husband knows everything. I doubt he doesn't know who your ex was."

"Everyone has a weakness. He only relies on his men. I invented a name. He had that name investigated. He was told that the person committed suicide. I was shocked by how his intelligence came up with that. Perhaps, a coincidence. Perhaps, since no one has that name, and they just wanted to please Namjoon. I don't know.

I don't care if you tell him. I'm not afraid. I endured so much I felt my body is already familiar with the pain. I have a chip planted on the back of my neck. He could see my location. Just so you know."

Jungkook wanted to laugh. Discovering how dumb Namjoon was. And he wanted to hold Jin's hand. To let him know how much he wanted to end his sufferings but couldn't show it. "I'm sure your ex already heard what you've gone through. I'm sure he had investigated to know why you suddenly disappeared. I'm sure he wanted to save you."

Jin smiled, though weak, his eyes showed a spark of hope. "I'm not sure about that, but thank you. Before, Mr. Hwang always brings me here whenever something happens. He's the only one I trust. He's more than a guard to me. He's more of a father. Once, when Namjoon was out somewhere, he helped me and my son escape the wall. He wanted my son to experience the outside world. He brought us to an amusement park. Jaehyun was so happy. I was crying tears of joy."