Athena

45. Rumor Has It

Doubt chips away at my happiness.

Grimacing, I blurt out, "If you ever change your mind about us, let me know. The last thing I wanna do is hold you back, okay?"

"I'm not gonna change my mind," he asserts resolutely.

I warn him, "You know, once I become Persie's guardian, she'll be more like my kid than my baby sister. I'll have to take care of her financially. I'll be working all the time. Paying bills. I-I'm not sure if I'll be very fun to be around."

"Don't worry," he assures me, planting a kiss atop my head. "I know you're gonna be busy. I'll be busy, too."

"Raising a kid isn't the same as going to college," I grumble.

He sighs. "Athena..."

"What?"

"I'm not planning to use any more of my dad's money after high school. I wanna cut all ties with him. I'll be working all the time, too, to pay for tuition and living expenses."

Surprise flits across my face. "Really?"

Cruz affirms, "Really."

Damn, he's going to make his own way through college instead of relying on Ron?

I don't know how much college tuition costs, exactly, but it's probably expensive as hell. Cruz will have to take out a buttload of student loans if he can't get enough scholarship money. Debt seems inevitable. Living in New Jersey and New York will also be much pricier than living in Arizona. We'll both be stressing over money.

But I get where he's coming from.

I'd want to distance myself from toxic, abusive sludge like Ron, too. I imagine—money is one of the easiest tools that rich assholes can use to control others. Worry still plagues my mind. Part of me is concerned that we might be two dumb kids who are about to get in over our heads. Yet, I can't help but admire my guy's ballsiness. I respect Cruz for trying to break free from Ron's influence.

Cruz murmurs, "If you're willing to support me through my shit, then it's only fair that I support you through your shit.

I absolutely have his back, but I'm still troubled about us. I try to stay positive. So, I tell him, "You have my full support. I know you can do it, Cruz. I believe in you."

Cruz kisses me again. "I know you can do it, too, baby. We're gonna take over the world. You, me, and Persie."

The fact that he included Persie.

My heart leaps again with joy.

Is this what it's like to fall head over heels for a boy?

It's way too soon to feel so strongly about Cruz, right?

I can't help feeling this way, though. After our little heart-to-heart, the future appears brighter than before. Cruz makes me feel so fucking amazing that it lowkey rattles me. I hope neither of us will lose our shine once reality puts our relationship to the test.

We deserve to be happy.

We deserve to stay together.

For now, I push aside my concerns and give into the sweetness of the moment. In the dead of night, Cruz and I continue to chat and exchange sweet nothings in the dark. Neither of us want to sleep. We're both battling our exhaustion. In time, however, the need to rest feels too strong, and Cruz and I eventually doze off, nestled together in bed with his larger hand enveloping mine.

A little before 5 am, I force myself to stumble out of Cruz's room before the adults are up.

Back inside my bedroom, hazy gray light shines through my window. Today is a new day. I also feel like a new person. Last night, I barely slept at all, but my spirits are running surprisingly high. Our future may be full of challenges, our relationship may need to stay secret, but Cruz and I are in such a good place. It makes me feel invincible even though I know I still have plenty of shit to deal with in the coming months.