Care For Me ✔️

40

L I L Y

As we left the hospital, I couldn't help the excitement that bubbled in my stomach. I'm finally going home.

Home.

The one place I've never truly had but always wanted.

I can't wait to spend time with my family, get to know them better, eat meals together, laugh together, cry together, grow together, make memories to last a lifetime and hopefully make up for the forever we've already missed.

So, so, so much lost time. Lost memories. Lost moments. Birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving. Every family holiday we've missed out on. I missed out on. Jack missed out on. Bonding with our brothers. Me bonding with my twin, the other half of me.

I missed out on so much time that we, as a collective, will never get back.

But there's always a silver lining, if I hadn't lost it all, I wouldn't have gained Jack as my brother. And for that, I'm externally grateful for the life I've had, no matter how shitty it's been.

I'd do it all again, just to have Jack in my life for always.

Having a bedroom will be weird. A place to call my own, my safe place, somewhere that isn't cold, riddled with damp and mould, and filled with fear. No more ratty old mattress and shredded blanket and creaking door of doom. I won't die in a basement, alone, freezing and filled with wants I feared I'd never know.

Now, I have everything I'll ever need.

Everyone I'll ever need.

Laying my head on the cool glass back-passenger window, I stare at the snow covered streets of the New York suburbs. I'll never get used to the beauty of this place. I wish I had a camera, somewhere I could capture everything for my eyes to see time and time again.

Before I know it, the car comes to a stop in front of the large, iron gates of the Lombardi house. No, mansion. As one of my brothers punches in the code for the gate, and we drive up the long driveway, I'm, once again, beyond enamoured by their magnificent garden. The snow covered flowers, the red roses and cherry top tees.

I'm in a trance.

"You like the garden?" Kaden asks from the seat beside me, following my line of sight. I don't need to respond for him to know I love it, the awe has to be clear on my face. "You know, we planted the lilies for you."

"For me?" I choke out, my voice a whisper as I look back at the lilies I'd missed the first time round. "Really?"

"Really, really," Kaden's normal goofy smile is replaced by something softer, sadder. "After you were gone and they were gone, we spent w lot of time in the garden. Grey's idea. Mama loved this place and I think they; him, Zac, Cal and Car, needed something to focus on and keep us little kiddos entertained."

I hold back a sniffle, it was strange to see Kade so serious and emotional.

"We didn't understand, you know, especially me, Kill and Leo, we were so little. Ace, too. He was a major Mama's boy from the stories I've heard. Anyway," he cleared his throat. "We planted the lilies for you, and the trees for Papa and Mama, but mostly Papa. He didn't like flowers all that much, but he sure loved trees. Then, mostly for Mama, was the roses. Her name was Rose, that's why we have the rose bushes and some single roses around. She loved flowers, it's where she got your name."