Out of The Shadows (Shadow Series #3)

17- Broken

        The thing I hate about death is that the person that died just slipped into oblivion. They felt no pain, even my sister said it didn't hurt. They easily slip away from their lives and never return. What about everyone else, though? We are all still stuck here, hearts shattered and feeling broken. The person that we cared about, that we loved, is gone for good. Some of us got to say goodbye and some didn't.

We are left behind to grieve, to cry every possible second when we remember the one who passed. When it feels like your whole chest is caving in and your head is about to explode because you are feeling too much pain. When nothing you do will ever bring them back.

You start to think of everything you should have said or should have did. You should have done this when they were still alive. You should have told them that you loved them. And now, it's all too late.

The warm water flowing over my head and down the rest of my body reminds me that I'm in the shower, not still at the internment camp or the police station. Parrish had to ask us some questions about time and I felt too numb to answer any of them. I could barely nod my head in agreement. I don't even remember heading home. Maybe because Derek was the one to bring me home. All I know is that I've been crying so much that a zombie apocalpyse could be going on right now and I would have no idea.

Derek's hands glide over my arms, using a washcloth to get all of the dried blood off of my body. There was no way that I would be able to do this on my own. So, he stripped me of my clothes, leaving me in my bra and underwear and began to clean my skin coated in Allison's blood.

Water drips from my lips, mixing with the tears that are silently streaming down my face. Derek gently cleans my body of the blood, nearly staining the bottom of my shower red. My hair is matted to my head until he pushes it away from my face. The smell of shampoo fills the small shower and Derek steps behind me to wash my hair for me.

I haven't said a word to him since the police station. I merely buried my face in his side, while I listened to Parrish ask everyone the questions. Dad made everyone agree to the same story. We were jumped by some guys and they killed Allison with something shiny, somthing that could have been a knife. If any of us weren't sure of what to say, we were to say, "It happened so fast."

After the shower, Derek helps me step out and wrap a towel around my body and hair. He leads me to the sink, where he had grabbed me so clothes for the night to change into. I stand in front of the mirror, gazing back at myself. The worst reminder of all is going to be that I look like Allison, I see parts of her when I look in the mirror. This will be a constant reminder.

Not even caring if Derek sees me naked, I change into the new, dry clothes. After running the brush through my hair and putting it up in a bun, Derek scoops me up in his arms and brings me over to my bed. Dad had offered to let me stay with him tonight, but there was no way that I could do that. I'd fall to pieces if I stayed in Allison's room.

I wrap my arms around Derek's torso, pressing myself as close as I can to him once we are in the middle of my bed. One of his arms wrap around my waist and the other goes around my shoulders. My body shakes as new tears begin to form in my eyes.

When my mom had died, I had thought nothing could be worse than that. I remember walking out of that elevator door and seeing a sheet over the bed in the hospital room behind my dad. I remember seeing the torn look on my dad's face. I remember Allison screaming and crying because our mother was dead. That was hard. That was when I had felt physical pain.

This is a hundred times worse. I lost my twin sister. The girl who has always been my best friend, growing up inseperable. We had our fights, but we always came back to each other. Even with the whole huge fight last time. We eventually did make up. And when we did, it wasn't long before she was taken away from me for good.

Allison is never coming back.

I've lost her for good.

And I've never felt more broken.

Derek kisses my temple while rubbing my back, gently. My chin quivers and I press my face in the crook of his neck. I just want her back.

I suck in a deep breath. "Derek?"

"Yeah?" Derek pulls back enough for me to see his face.

"As much as I want to cry and just stay here, I won't feel better about any of this until we kill the Nogistune."

Derek strictly shakes his head. "No, you're not going out there. You need time to grieve."

"I have the rest of my life to grieve." I sniffle, wiping away a tear. "I don't want to lose anyone else. I don't want to lose Stiles, he's my best friend, Derek. I want to help them."

Derek wipes away another tear with the pad of his thumb. He stares at my face, debating if this is a good idea. "You don't leave my side, okay? Or at least stay with Scott if I'm not around. I don't like this idea, but I know how it feels when someone in your family dies."

I weakly smile. "Thank you." I rest my head on Derek's chest, exhaling. "I just don't want to face Isaac. God, he must hate me right now."

"He doesn't." Derek kisses my forehead. "He made a move to comfort you and I shook my head when he tried. I think he knew that he wouldn't be able to comfort you like I could. He understands."

I shake my head against his chest. "I lead him on and convinced myself to tell you that I didn't love you anymore-"

Derek covers my mouth with his hand. "In my car, when I asked you if you still loved me and you said no, I heard your heart skip a beat. I knew you still did, even though a small part of you really did care for Isaac. I was waiting until my turn came again."

I bite my lip. "I was hoping you wouldn't give up on me."

XXXXXX

So, I thought it was kind of a good idea to have this be a seperate chapter before I threw in some action for the next part. That way, this cute, yet very sad and depressing moment was it's own little chapter. That's why it's kind of short.

Ugh. This chapter kind of got to me. I feel so bad for Clara. But, I didn't want her to spend the rest of this season crying. No, I need her in part of the action coming up.

I already know where she will be in the next chapter, but I'm curious to know where you want her in the next chapter. With Derek and the Twins when attacking the Oni outside of the school or with Scott, Stiles, Lydia, and Kira in the school? I already have decided, but I want to know where you guys want her.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure the next chapter will probably be the end of this story. And, I'll probably finish it today. Be prepared.

Question: Who's not ready for the last chapter?

So, yeah!