Eventually Yours

23 Aftermath

"I simply cannot believe it," my mother was going on for the fourth time this week. I rolled my eyes in Emily fashion as I set down my cards and Madison started to shuffled them back into the deck. I told myself that I was annoyed at her repetition but in truth it was her words which wounded me. "I cannot believe that he would just take off like that, without warning, without so much as a goodbye. After all we've done for him. And he just gets on his horse and takes off home. Didn't even take Benthem with him."

The Duke had left a week ago. Just packed up his belongings and hit the road on his own. He hadn't said goodbye, hadn't thanked us, nothing. And I knew it was my fault. I had put too much pressure on him at the ball, assumed too much. Why had I said such a thing just days after convincing myself he felt nothing for me? Why did I always have to start such drama?

I threw down my cards again and cursed. Madison looked up at me the way she'd been looking at me all week. Eyes full of pity, lips pouting in our shared sorrow. I hated it. I couldn't stand it.

"Oh but at least our dear Emily has moved on," my mother finished her tirade the same as she always did. "I'm so pleased things are advancing with Colin so nicely. He's such a kind boy and with a nice familial estate he will inherit one day. A bit shy, mind you, not much of a talker that one but oh, he suites our Emily so well, don't you think, Ella?"

For the upteenth time, I forced a smile and gave a terse nod back to my mother who simply sighed and fell against the chair she was seated in, likely daydreaming of a beautiful fall wedding.

I was happy for Emily, truly I was. She deserved this after all she'd been through the last year and a half. But it was hard to hear about how in love my sister was and how successful her courtship was when I was mending a broken heart no one even knew needed to be healed. Well, no one but Madison and it was bad enough she knew.

Then there was the fact that it was becoming clear to us all that a proposal was coming soon on the Colin and Emily front which meant that, once my sister was engaged, my mother had nothing to do but to turn her full attention to me and she wouldn't stop until I was married off as well. And, as much as I hated to admit it, my heart just wasn't into the thought of matrimony. Not anymore.

"Are you alright, Ella?" Madison asked and I realized I hadn't played a card in some time. I blinked and cleared my throat before getting to my feet.

"Yes, I'm fine," I assured her. "I only- um, I think I need some fresh air."

Then I turned away and headed for the door, trying to ignore the sorrowful way my oldest friend watched me go. The hallway was quieter but it wasn't enough. I headed for the front door to at least get some fresh air but, as luck would have it, I came upon Elijah heading out as well. He said he was going to town. I told him that was perfect because I had another dress to order for the next ball. He invited me along without question and the short time in the carriage between home and Madame Francis' shop with my brother was far more invigorating than the last week in the drawing room with my mother and Madison had been.

Madame Francis came out of her shop to greet us as our carriage pulled up to the doors. I cocked my head sideways as I stepped out onto the street beyond. She'd never come to greet me before.

"Ella!" She exclaimed excitedly, gripping my hands in her own as I joined her on the sidewalk. "I'm so pleased to see you again. I've been working on some gowns that I think will look absolutely marvelous on you."

"How long will you be?" Elijah asked from where he remained in the carriage.

"Not long," I assured him. "Perhaps an hour."

He nodded and motioned for the driver to move on to his next destination. I may have imagined it, in fact I was certain I must have imagined it, because it almost seemed as if he and Madame Francis had exchanged a glance before he was on his way. I opened my mouth to ask about such an odd occurrence but Madame Francis was already speaking.