Eventually Yours

36 Closure

I stared at the glossy black door in front of me and the number emblazoned in gold on its face. 1437. I took a deep breath and then extended a fist and knocked. I waited, trying not to listening to the sounds of scuffling inside as I gazed around to see if anyone were watching me from the street. The door swung open a moment later and a maid stood demurely in the threshold, question formed on her lips. But before she could ask it, someone else spoke my name from behind her.

"Victor?"

"Gwendolyn," I replied, nodding my head in greeting.

"Come in," she spoke after a surprised pause.

The maid lowered her gaze to the floor and stepped aside to admit me. I entered to a busy foyer of servants bustling about, carrying paintings or vases full of flowers or some other such elegant luxury. Half of the walls were covered in tall white sheets, the other half were midway through wallpapering or painting.

"Remodeling?" I asked as she led me through the foyer to a drawing room off to the side.

"My brother's signed the manor off to me. He's bought a new one on the other side of the city. So I'm making this one mine," she explained, gesturing for me to sit. I did not. "It's lovely to see you. Can I get you something? Some tea, perhaps? Or I know George left some of his brandy if-"

"Stay away from Ella."

She blinked at me, lowering her hands slowly and staring as if she wasn't sure if she'd heard me correctly.

"Pardon?" she asked, truly stunned.

"Stay away from Ella," I repeated, taking a step forward and lowering my voice to indicate how serious I was about the matter.

"That girl you brought to the ball with you?" she queried, almost amused. "You're actually courting her? I thought she was just another one of your... diversions."

I clenched my fists at my sides, reminding myself why I was here, what I was trying to do. But no one could get under my skin like Gwendolyn and she knew it. She settled into one of her outrageously upholstered floral chairs and crossed her legs elegantly.

"Susan, some tea," she called out sweetly and the maid who had answered the door ducked her head and moved swiftly toward the kitchen. Then Gwendolyn turned her unfazed gaze to me. She smiled and her eyes even shone a bit with amusement. "So, Ella is it?"

"You'll stay away from her."

"I'll do as I please," she snapped back quickly.

"As you always have," I muttered. She raised a brow.

"Precisely," she agreed, choosing to ignore the insult.

Susan returned at that moment, carrying a tray of tea things with her. She set it down, bowed once, and hurried away. Gwendolyn did not so much as glance once in her direction. Ella would have thanked her. That simple fact alone was enough to bolster me in my purpose here.

"We never talked about what happened between us," I told her, keeping my tone as controlled and measured as I could.

"Is that what you want?" she asked, raising a brow as if in apparent disbelief. "That's why you came all the way here? To talk?"

"Yes, Gwendolyn. To talk."

She sat back in her seat then and made a gesture of spreading her hands out wide in front of her as if to say go on then.

"I'm not here to tell you how much it hurt me or how much I loved you or to make excuses for my behavior after the fact," I started, ignoring the way she was watching me with a wide grin as if this were nothing more than an entertaining exhibition to her. "I just think we need closure, the both of us. It's impossible to avoid each other entirely given how ingrained we both are in Northumberland society. But I think there's a way for us to at least become less hostile acquaintances. For my part, I intend to stop hating you to the best of my ability, to stop blaming you for the man I became because it's led me to something better than we ever had together. For your part, you need to accept that what was once between us is gone now. You broke it beyond repair and you will never get it back. It is in your best interest to learn to find contentment in seeing me happy without you. For what it's worth, I do hope you find someone yourself, Gwendolyn. Someone you deem worth not cheating on."

Having said my piece, I moved to head back for the door, but she stood abruptly in my way, stopping me from leaving.

"That's it, then?" she asked, raising a brow as she reached out and grabbed my lapels with both hands, clutching them tightly, her fists against my chest. "You're just done with me?"

"I've been done with you, Gwendolyn," I replied, pulling her hands away from me and trying to sidestep her but she slid into my way again.

"We're meant to be together, Victor," she said. "Everyone knows it. Everyone's known it since we were children."

I just stepped away from her again and pushed past her to the door.

"What's so wonderful about her?" she shouted as I reached it.

"She's better than you, Gwendolyn," I replied. Maybe because I wanted to hurt her or maybe just because it was the simple truth. "In every way. She's better than me too. But I see how lucky I am to have someone so wholly in love with me. I won't take that for granted like you did."

Her lips parted in surprise as I wrenched open the door and stepped into the city street beyond, putting Gwendolyn behind me for once and for all.