All Kinds of Therapy ( Bellarke Edition)

Chapter 35

Clarke,

I am hoping you are home relaxing with Octavia and Raven.

Not overthinking everything and getting worked up. It's not good

for the baby, please take care of yourself. Leaving you was the

hardest thing I have ever had to do. If I thought for one second that

you needed me I would have found a way to stay. You are so strong,

and honestly it hurt a little bit when you told me the platoon needed me

more, but I respect that. I know you told me that because I needed to

hear it, and I love you for that and so many other things. I will tell you

that I need you, every day and every second of my life I need you. I would

be so lost without you. It's crazy to think we used to not get along , now if

you don't talk to me for a day I'm worried something is wrong. HaHa. I

expect this deployment to test us to our limits. Every ounce of what our

relationship has, nine months is so long, your entire pregnancy. I am

heartbroken that I don't get to experience it with you. When ever you are

having a bad day, think of us. Think of the first night you slept by my side

holding my hand to keep me calm, think of all the "physical therapy"

we did. ;) Go for a drive think of how "happy" we have been in your car, lay

down in our bed and close your eyes, think of me holding you. Just think of me,

us, and our little family. Don't ever forget how much I love you and when the

waiting feels like its too much, Wait longer please...please. There is nothing I

want more than to walk off that plane and into your arms. I want to come back to

you, and our baby. I want to make you my wife and spend the rest of my life

loving you. So please when it feels like it's too much just remember I love you.

I will write again soon,

Forever & Always

Bellamy

...

She cried into her pillow missing his arms, missing his voice, missing him. She could do this, she would weather this pregnancy alone because she knew it was what she needed to do. Not that she was ever alone when it came to the girls, but without Bellamy it felt like it.

...

The lights flickered, appearing more dim then they were already. Bellamy picked up the stuff he emptied out of the envelope.

The first thing was the photo of her in his shirt that Wick took. He laughed to himself. Only she would save it. 'xoxoxo' written on the back. He slipped that back in the small envelope lifting the next photo.

It was from the ultrasound, he flipped it over, 'Our little Miracle, Baby Blake'. He sat looking at the photo for awhile, that photo held so much hope, promise and excitement for the future. He didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, he only cared that Clarke and the baby were healthy. His life was perfect, a baby on the way and an amazing woman. The plane jostled as if to remind him he was hundreds of miles away from them. He sighed sliding the photo into the envelope.

The next photo was of him and Clarke, they were sitting on the couch together, he remembered her taking it of them one night late. She looked so happy and beautiful as usual, he smiled to himself running a finger over the photo. He took a deep breath before flipping it over, 'Forever & Always'. He smiled placing it in the envelope and picking up the last photo.

The last photo was of Clarke, Him, and Octavia. He stared at it for awhile, they were the most important people in the world to him. He flipped it over 'We need you Bell, Stay safe'. He glanced down at the folded pink paper still sitting in his lap, not sure he could take anymore at the moment. He slid the photo in the envelope and lifted the paper, he needed to get it all over at once or it would be a constant distraction and he needed sleep. He started to unfold it, the scent of her perfume hit him, He could see where she sprayed the paper, he unfolded the last fold and hundreds of silver sparkles dusted him and the floor of the plane. He smiled shaking his head.

...

Bell,

By now your probably half way there, covered in sparkles. I chose sparkles

because they are awful to cleanup and even days later you still find them,

hopefully they travel with you awhile and remind you of me every time you

find one. Look out for each other and stay safe. We need you Bell, I need you!

You are my whole world, my everything, and I would be lost without you. I'll look

after Octavia and our baby, When you come home you will get to meet her/him

and I cannot wait. I cannot wait until you are back in my arms, hogging the blankets,

drinking all the orange juice, and loving every inch of me. Nine months is a long

time, but it's not anything we can't handle, I love you so much. So so much! I'm proud

of you and thankful for everything you do for us, I know it's not easy. Even though

you are oceans away I am always by your side, pushing you, supporting you,

loving you...probably scolding you haha. We need to think of baby names, in your

free time(haha) jot some down in your next letter. I think you need a girl, Octavia and I

don't think there are enough women in your life haha. Whatever we get will be perfect

because we made him/her together, and that's all that matters. Hurry Home baby, I miss you

already. I love you most.

Forever & Always,

Clarke

...

He brought the paper to his nose inhaling her perfume before slipping the note back in the envelope and sliding it all into his pocket. He leaned his head back against the wall closing his eyes. He fought back tears all day he wasn't going to get emotional now. He missed her, he was feeling it already and they weren't even there yet. He hoped this tour was fast moving and uneventful, he needed to go home to Clarke and their baby. He would move mountains to do that if needed, in nine months he would be back in her arms, he would make sure of that.