All Kinds of Therapy ( Bellarke Edition)

Chapter 20

Bellamy has been in field training for six days, and he would give anything to just hear her voice. He feels like this week is taking an eternity. It was just after ten and he lay there watching the silhouettes of the trees in the moon light move with every breeze. He couldn't sleep, hadn't slept all week, not since the night he spent next to her. He shifted again, trying to get comfortable.

"Blake go to sleep already!" Wick groaned a few feet from him.

"I can't sleep, I don't even feel tired" he grumbled.

"We do, but the constant noise from you moving is not allowing us to do so" Lincoln stretched and yawned.

"Sorry" he sighed.

"Tell us what the problem is maybe then we can all sleep" Wick rolled over to face the two of them.

"Clarke" he stated before sitting in silence. Wick through his hands up rubbing his face, before looking back at him.

"Is that all your giving us? Could you be a little more elaborate?"

"I don't want to leave it like it is, and she doesn't want anything more than what we have, she has made that clear."

"You ever stop to think she feels the same but she's scared" Lincoln spoke half in his rolled up makeshift pillow.

"Scared of what? I'm in love with the girl, well, maybe not love but" he started to stutter his way through the sentence.

"We already know you love her, stop trying to evade the word." Wick laughed.

"That's not what I meant, I meant she's scared she's going to lose you. She always says no Marines for her, it isn't easy on the women. You move around every 4 years, and to top it off if you deploy once or twice in those four years that's 2 years she spends by herself in a new place. Only to repeat it again in a new place. Not to mention if you are deployed there is no guarantee you come home" Lincoln stated.

"How do I fix that? Reassure her it will work?"

"You don't, at the end of the day it all falls on her, she's the one who has to step up, she has to believe the two of you can weather it together, if she can't handle it then it's not going to work and that puts you in danger, tonight being a perfect example, we deploy soon and you can't sleep to get the rest you need to train, I know we've done it before but you have to get your head in the game." Lincoln answered seriously.

"He's right Blake, if your letting it get to you after six days, what happens in forty, we have to write home and tell her you got shot, because you fell asleep standing post. You need to figure out what it is and get her on board or toss her over board" Wick stated pulling his blanket up.

"This was an uplifting conversation" Bellamy stated sarcastically pushing himself up off the ground and walking towards the lake that was out there. He sat watching the water move around, the reflection of the moon staring back at him. Until eventually the moon was replaced by the rising sun.

...

"Clarke! Let's go!" Octavia yelled.

"Geeze, I'm coming" she replied yanking a sweatshirt over her head.

They both felt out of sorts without the guys around this week so they took up running in the mornings. They could normally get two miles in before they had to go to work.

"I'm glad we started running again" Octavia smiled seeing her come out the door.

"I don't know if I'd say I'm glad, but it is a nice start to the day"

They ran their two miles in silence, enjoying the peace of the morning. They turned the corner to the row of townhouses they live in and came to an abrupt stop. Two Marines in dress blues stepped out of a black car and walked up the path to the neighbors house.

Clarke and Octavia knew the neighbor, they often spoke to each other as they passed on the way to their cars. Her husband was stationed in Quantico but has been deployed for four months leaving her and their three beautiful little girls here. There hearts sank, knowing only the worst news steps out of those cars. Clarke and Octavia hurried to their townhouse. They heard the knock, and kids yelling as the door opened. Only to be followed by the most awful sound they had ever heard. They walked in their house clicking the door shut. It was like a blanket of sadness fell over the whole morning.

They picked a movie and sat in silence on the couch. Each lost in their own thoughts. Thoughts of their neighbor who lost a husband and a father to their daughters. Thoughts of their own friends and family about to be deployed.

"O, how do we do this? How do we act like we are happy for them to go, knowing that could be the outcome?" Clarke asked quietly, tears falling down her cheeks.

Octavia took Clarke's hand giving it a squeeze.

"We hold it in, we hold each other up, Lincoln told me the other day that having us is the best thing for them, they fight for the country but it makes it more personal, because they fight for us. It keeps them focused and ensures they make safer, wiser decisions, because having someone here makes them want to come home. Our fears, our stress, unfortunately that's ours to bear alone or with each other. But not them, we want them to think we are OK, we can handle it, we don't need them to worry about us. that just puts them in danger"

Clarke nodded, acknowledging she heard her.

They stayed on the couch watching movie after movie all day. Raven stopped by after work joining them on the couch, and that was where the guys found them all the next morning, all three of them sound asleep, a mess of blankets and limbs in every direction.