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Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing

When the pressure's coming down like lightning

It's like they want me to be perfect

When they don't even know that I'm hurtin'

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"I'll tell you

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"I'll tell you." I say as she looks at me with those
sad hazel eyes.

Nothing, and I mean nothing will ever make me forgive myself for everything I put her through.

She used to look at me with a glimmer in her eyes. A glimmer that only shone for me.

But that glimmer has faded into nothing and she now looks at me with pure sadness and disappointment.

I wasn't expecting it to turn out like this, I truly wasn't. I thought I'd be able to go home shortly after I left to apologize and take her back there with me. But that just wasn't the case and if I would have known, I would have stayed in bed and told her just how much I love her.

Because I do, I never stopped, but she's moved on and I can't mess her life up even more by telling her that.

"I woke up the morning after my birthday..." I start off.

February 2nd, 2017

The room is filled with darkness except for the light of moonlight that seeps through the cracks of the curtains.

Vi's snoring body lays cuddled next to me. Holding me so tightly, hair sprawled across her face.

I take my hand and gently brush the hair out of the way so I can really see her. 

God, she's so fucking beautiful.

Everything about her is so mesmerizing.

My thumb lightly moves back and forth on the soft skin of her cheek. Slow and steady breaths leave her pretty little mouth.

How is it, after all these years of loving her, I find more and more reasons to love her everyday?

I plant a light kiss on her forehead and she unconsciously snuggles herself even closer to my body.

Stress from the pressure of quick decisions releases from my body as I calm into her, and I close my eyes and fall back asleep.

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Ringing.

A constant ring wakes me out of my deep sleep.

I roll out of bed and grab my phone.

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