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Leaning my head against the back of the couch, I let out a sigh. The message from Melina felt off, but I didn't want to assume the worst about my girlfriend, assume things that might not even be true. However, as I looked back at her last message, the response of me too felt wrong. Part of me wanted to call Y/N, get her take on it, but knowing she was with Jimin, I quickly squashed that idea and tossed the phone to the other side of the couch, feeling the frustration take over me.
Closing my eyes, I tried to push the thought of Y/N going on a date with someone else out of my mind. I didn't want to admit why I was letting it bother me, but deep down I knew what it was. From the time we had met, she had always been mine. My best friend, my confidant, my sounding board. After meeting Jimin, it felt like she was slowly pulling away from me. I knew I wasn't the best friend and I probably deserved it, but I hated it just the same. I wanted her to be happy, to find love, but at the same time, I knew if she started dating someone, she would pay less attention to me.
Letting out a groan, I flopped over sideways on the couch, grabbing one of the throw pillows she insisted I needed and shoving it under my head. Not able to get comfortable, I turned over onto my back, putting my arm over my eyes. As I lay there, I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself, even though I know I shouldn't. I knew I was a shitty friend, definitely not the type of friend I should be and I know I didn't deserve Y/N, but I didn't know how else to fix the situation. I had gotten so used to her being there for me all the time, for going places with me (even though I abandoned her on more than one occasion), for always dropping whatever she was doing for me. Now that it was no longer happening, I hated it.
Thinking about our conversation outside the restaurant, I couldn't help but feel hurt. I had wanted to talk to her, to spend time with her, but I could tell by the way she had looked down at her phone, that her mind was elsewhere, that she was in a hurry to get to Jimin, to get to the man who I had felt had taken my place. I knew it sounded selfish, but I couldn't help it at the same time. She never blew me off like she had the last few days and I hated it. She always made me a priority and now that she wasn't, it felt like a wakeup call for me. It made me realize it was something I never did for her. I was always pushing our friendship to the back burner, always putting others ahead of her and it was something I felt terrible for doing, something I should have known better than to do.
Knowing I wasn't going to feel any better by pouting, I stood up and went into my bedroom, plugging my phone into the charger and heading to the bathroom to take a showed. I stripped out of my work clothes and dropped them in the hamper before turning on the shower. While I waited for the water to heat up, I walked naked back into my bedroom, stopping to check my phone, just in case Y/N decided to message me. Unfortunately, there was nothing there, but I knew I shouldn't be surprised. Seeing as how she had been the last few days, I knew she wasn't going to pay attention to me when Jimin was with her. Heading back into the bathroom, I decided to just get a shower then head to bed, hopefully figure everything out in the morning.
