"So, you kissed him when he just broke up with a jerk, because you were drunk. But he didn't get angry and even bought you food. And then you begged for his apology and when he DID forgive you, you felt sad and ran out? And now you want to confess?" Ashley says raising her eyebrow at me.
"You know what you did was unacceptable right?" She asks and I nod.
"And you have no right to get angry with him or even feel upset. And what? Confess? When he is vulnerable? Are you trying to take advantage of his vulnerability," she continues. I came here hoping she would try to understand but she is making me feel worse by stating the truth out loud. But what really breaks my heart is that she thinks I want to take advantage of his vulnerability. I would never do that to Yoohan.
"I knew this idiot will break someday. I want to disown him right now," comes a voice from the phone. I video-called Hye Mi as soon as I got to Ashley's apartment because I wanted both of them to help me fix this problem I created. But they have been lashing out at me for almost an hour now.
"Yaa, you just come back to Korea. I will raise you, so just come back. You are finally losing your head. How am I supposed to tell your mom that her hard-working, diligent son is going through puberty again over a boy he met just a few months back" Hye Mi scolds me through the phone. "Exactly, I thought he had a brain but I think I was wrong" Ashley jumps into the conversation and just like that they start complaining about me to each other as if I am not even in the room.
I sigh and get up to leave but Ashley stops me.
"Sit down," she says.
" Sunwoo, we want to help you but before that, you need to figure out your own feelings, you can't rush it like this and not now at least. That boy is hurt," Ashley says.
" Sunwoo-ya, remember when Jisung broke up with you? You were devastated. He was your last boyfriend. I know you loved him because you cried for a boy for the first time in your life. Do you think your feelings towards Yoohan are the same as Jisung or is it just infatuation that you feel now that you are alone there and he lives with you" Hye Mi says and like always her words force me to think about what I am feeling right now?
"My dear friend, although you walked out of that apartment feeling sad, I support your decision. I am glad you walked out instead of blabbering something else. What Yoohan needs right now is a friend he trusts. He trusts you more than his own brother. Are you going to abandon him over the feelings you are not even sure about?" Hye asks.
I return home after talking to Ashley and Hye Mi. I agree with them I need to sort out my feelings before jumping into anything. If I act without thinking I will only end up hurting Yoohan more in the process and I might even lose his friendship and that is something I cannot risk.
Two weeks have already passed since that day and Yoohan is trying his best to get back to his older self and I am here to support him. He does talk about Minho every now and then without unintentionally and his smile drops but I make sure he does not hang onto the thought of that boy for too long. I did not even realize when I became so chatty and playful around him. He makes me feel comfortable and sometimes when I am laughing with him I even forget about my own worries and mom for a while.
Now that I think about it even Hye Mi has not seen this side of me for years now. I smile thinking about this moment I am living with Yoohan.
"Why?" Yoohan asks smiling back at me.
We have come to see the sunset together. Yoohan has been asking me to go see the sunset with him for a week now but I always end up spending the evening in the library surrounded by books. I still have to work hard to keep my scholarship and get a job. But I finally gave in and here we are standing on the tower overlooking this beautiful town as it slowly gets painted in many a hundred shades of orange and yellow the colour getting darker with every passing moment.
"Why are you smiling to yourself like that? Are you thinking about someone special?" he asks curiosity mixed with an unfamiliar emotion in his eyes.
I furrow my brows in confusion while he looks at me with a serious face waiting for an answer. I shake my head at him and he looks back at the sun.
"Stop looking at me we came to see the sunset," he says when I keep looking at him. I finally tear my eyes away from him. My gaze settles on the setting sun and I let my mind wander to Yoohan's question and the look in his eyes.
We come down the tower as it's starting to get dark and the stairs are steep with hardly any light in the stairwell. I am clutching Yoohan's hands as we slowly make our way down. The only thing that scares me is small dark places, another reason why I kept pushing this whole watching the sunset thing from the tower.
I take a deep breath as soon as we are out in the open. The cold wind hits our faces and I don't want to let go of his hand so I decided to push my luck a little more just this time and keep holding his hand. We are walking down the street holding hands and I could not ask for anything more in my life. If only, I could stop time. I wish this to be my forever. Yoohan stops in his tracks suddenly and I bump into him.
"You need to learn how to walk-" I trail off when I look up and see Minho standing in front of us staring at our hands. I pull my hand out of Yoohan's but he does not seem to notice.
"Can we talk?" Minho asks Yoohan and he nods. I stand there not knowing what to do. I don't want to leave Yoohan with him alone but he needs to talk it out at least once.
"You can go home, I will be right back," Yoohan tells me and walks away. The absence of his hand is freezing me. I have never felt so cold in my entire life.
I rush to the grocery store and buy a few cans of beer and soju. Thank god there is an Asian store just around the corner. So even though we are far away from home we can still enjoy Soju whenever we want. Once I am done shopping I run home and grab a few things and return to the café Yoohan went in with that boy. I know he asked me to go home but I can't leave him alone again.
They finally come out after almost two hours and I can see Yoohan is on the verge of crying. I step out of the corner once that boy has left. I come and stand in front of Yoohan. He looks up at me, teary-eyed and I raise the big shopping bag in front of him hiding my face behind it.
"Will you watch the sunrise with me?" I ask peeking from the side pulling a wide smile. And he laughs.
YOU ARE READING
Caramel Eyes
RomanceOh Yoohan: a rich but humble boy. He is 21 and openly gay, which is not too common in countries like South Korea due to the stigma attached to the lgbtq+ community in society. He doesn't have a dad but his mother and elder brother support him. His e...
