A Purpose in Bloom { Flowey x Reader }

Chapter 3

FLOWEY POV

Lately I've been feeling a bit nostalgic. Everything I lay my eyes on reminds me of my life as Asriel. So, with these newfound feelings in mind, I've decided to get back to my roots (no pun intended).

Today's the day I'm gonna pay a visit to my old home, at the capital of the Underground, "New Home." Maybe if I go back there for a little while, I'll be able to figure out what my purpose is.

That's another thing that's been weighing on my mind more and more often. As the days go by, I feel increasingly more . . . useless. And it's not a fun feeling. I can't help but try to remember what it feels like to be needed by someone. But for some reason, I just can't get that feeling back, no matter how hard I try.

It's not like I'm surprised. I mean, it's been years since I've felt that. And with all of the monsters living on the surface now, there's no hope for me to feel that way again anytime soon. Unless I reset . . .

No. I've made it clear that I am no longer that person. I have to let Frisk enjoy their perfect ending. It's the least I can do for everything they did for me.

Come to think of it, Frisk was the last person who really made me feel whole. My memories of the whole situation are fuzzy, to say the least, but a small piece of me remembers what it felt like when Frisk saved me- when they fought so desperately to save not themselves, but me. But why were they doing it? What was the point of them risking their life to save me? Maybe figuring that out is the key to finding my purpose in life.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

I pop out of the earth right outside of the front door of my old home. At the sight of it, memories begin to flood through my head, almost enough to make me feel like I really was Asriel.

I use one of my vines to open the door, and then let myself inside. I am immediately greeted by the wide open foyer, in which I used to spend so much time playing with Chara. I remember when we would struggle so hard to complete the puzzles that our father bought us. What a mess we always made! Mother would often be the one cleaning all the pieces off the floor once Chara and I decided to give up on the puzzles.

I make my way across the living room, awkwardly waddling on the tips of my roots. I hated to travel this way, but since there was no earth in the house that I could root myself into, this was my only option for getting around.

I enter the living room, where I used to spend so much time in front of the fireplace with Chara. We would listen to Mother tell stories from her chair, and eat butterscotch-cinnamon pie with her and father. I can almost taste the warm, creamy flavor of that pie. Mother would make it often, but it never got old. Man, I'd kill to have some of that pie right now.

Eventually I made my way to the throne room, which doubled as my father's garden. By now, with no one to tend to them, all the flowers had wilted. Back when everyone was still in the Underground, these golden flowers were bursting with life. Perhaps they were fueled by the hopes and dreams of every soul that lived here. Or maybe the were just fueled by the water Asgore fed them.

I used to be one of those flowers, before Alphys used me as a vessel for her "determination" experiment. I don't remember it at all, probably because I didn't have a conscious mind back then. If Alphys had never experimented on me, then I would still be one of those plain old golden flowers. I would be shriveled up and dead by now. I can't decide whether I feel grateful for that old lizard-woman, or resentful. On one hand, I'm happy that I was able to have a second chance at life after dying as Asriel. But on the other, I feel that the world would've been better off if a creature like me was never born into it. While every timeline where I killed innocent people is gone now, I still can't help but feel remorseful for what I did. I made people suffer, just so I could feel something again. I was such a selfish, cruel being. I have to make sure I never become that kind of person again.

I leave the throne room and cross through a small, dark hallway, making my way to the final destination of my trip to New Home.

There it was, in all its glory. I hadn't been here in years, not since I freed the Underground as Asriel.

The barrier. It looks so different now: a giant, gaping hole was now all that was left of it. Shattered pieces of what used to make up the barrier now lie haphazardly on the ground. From where I stand, I can clearly see the outside world for the first time ever.

It's blinding; I've never seen so much light in one place before. This must be when they call the sun. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I began to make out other shapes in the distance. Huge trees lie on the horizon, bigger than any trees I'd ever seen in the Underground. There are houses scattered about, and in the distance one larger cluster of buildings, which I assume is a city.

It really is beautiful; no wonder the monsters fought so hard to reach this place. The surface really is awe-striking.

I dive back into the earth and then emerge again a few feet outside the barrier. I lay back my head and feel the sun seep through my face and petals. It's arguably the best feeling I've ever experienced. If I could feel this everyday, maybe then I could finally stop being numb.

I was already on the surface, even if I was just a little bit beyond the barrier. Going farther wouldn't hurt, right?

No. If I go any farther, then I'm just gonna grow attached to this place. I can't let that happen. I need to stay in the Underground! I can't be around everyone else. I'll just end up hurting them again.

Even if I have to spend the rest of eternity in this damn hellhole.

I dive into the earth once more, emerging just inside the barrier. I hesitate for a moment, turning around to get one last glance at the outside world.

To my amazement, a figure appears in the entrance.

Is that. . . a human?!

Before I could even say anything, they collapsed onto the ground.