Dancing in the Rain

I.e

After everyone had left, Kriss entered the room. Her dress was wrinkled, and her eyes were swollen. Her hair was a mess and she still seemed a bit scared, but she didn't look as if she had any physical injuries.

I motioned for her to sit on the bed next to me. She slowly sat down and lifted her gaze to mine.

"How are you doing?" she asked hesitantly.

"I've been better," I said, trying to make a joke. She gave a weak smile. "How are you?" I asked. "I know that attack was frightening."

"I'm okay, I guess." she said, playing with the skirts of her dress. "I'm still trying to process it all, if you know what I mean."

I nodded. "I understand."

"I'm so sorry about your parents," she said carefully, not lifting her eyes from her dress.

"Thank you," I replied, my voice tightening. I took a deep breath and recollected myself. "Anyways, I need to tell you something," I said. I suddenly felt very nervous. I hated having to tell Kriss this, and I didn't know how she would react.

She must have sensed the nervousness in my voice, because she looked up from her dress and her eyes met mine. She smiled sadly, and I saw tears glistening in her eyes. "I know," she said.

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could, she started talking. "I know how you look at her, Maxon. And your nervousness now can only mean one thing."

"I'm so sorry Kriss," I said. "If I could make this any easier for you, I would."

"I know you would," she said sadly.

"Just let me explain," I said. This must be so hard for her, and I wanted to clear things up. A tear rolled down Kriss's face. She nodded.

"I had already chosen America this morning when we found her in the hall," I continued. "I was so angry at her, and I was scared of having my heart broken again, so I decided to choose you at the celebration instead." I took a breath before continuing. "But then I realized how wrong that was of me," I said. "I thought that I could push my love for America away, but I can't. And it wouldn't be fair for me to settle for you, because you deserve better than that."

Kriss nodded as if in understanding. "I love you, Maxon, I really do. I'm so glad I came here, and that I got to meet you and fall in love with you," Kriss said. She hesitated before asking, "Do you think you could ever love me, as much as you love America?"

I shook my head. "It's not fair to compare yourself to her. You're each your own person." I paused. I wanted to be honest without hurting Kriss even worse. "To answer your question, I don't think I could, and I want you to know it's not your fault. I need you to know that you're amazing. You're caring and kind and selfless, and one day, you're going to find someone who loves you as you deserve to be loved."

"But it won't be you," she said sadly.

"No, it won't," I responded, feeling bad. I didn't know what to say.

Luckily Kriss began to speak, so I didn't have to fail at comforting her again. "I wouldn't want to marry you when you love someone else," she admitted. "But that doesn't make it any less painful."

"I'm sorry," I said lamely, not knowing what else to say. I swallowed uncomfortably. I knew exactly how she felt, and I felt terrible for being the one to put her through this. But I believed what I'd told her before. Anything else wouldn't be fair to her.

Kriss took a deep breath, composing herself. "Would it be possible for me to leave today?" she asked. "I just need to get away from all of this," she added.

"Of course," I said softly. "Whatever you need."

She nodded, gave a weak smile, and stood up. As she neared the door, she turned back to me and said, "Good bye, Maxon Schreave." she smiled sadly, trying so hard to hold it together.

I returned her smile. "Good bye, Kriss Ambers."

She opened the door, and a second later, she was gone.