Dancing in the Rain

II.d

Maxon led me out of the dining hall, my hand in his the entire time. I could tell by the way he was walking that he was excited for what he had planned for us tonight. After a while, I realized where we were going. My suspicions were confirmed when he led me through the palace doors and into the gardens, making his way towards our bench.

It wasn't really our bench, of course. But it was extremely important to both of us, and long ago we'd started calling it "our bench". when talking with each other. It was the place where Maxon and I had first met. I was still in awe of the journey that had taken us from that moment to where we were today.

Maxon took a seat on the bench, and I sat beside him. Before I could say anything, he reached below the bench and pulled out a small basket covered in cloth. He must have put it there earlier, I thought.

"What's inside?" I asked, curious.

"Let's see," Maxon said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. He held the basket towards me.

I eagerly took it and pulled the cloth back. When I saw what was inside, I couldn't help but laugh. "Strawberry tarts," I said grinning, reaching my hand in to grab one. I took a bite, sighing as I did so. It was delicious.

Maxon grinned back. "Be sure to save some for me," he said in a teasing voice.

Taking another bite, I rolled my eyes playfully at him. I pretended to be annoyed as I handed him the basket. Maxon grabbed a tart and took a slow, careful bite. I was already reaching for my second.

We sat quietly for a while as we enjoyed the strawberry tarts. After we had finished the last one, I wiped my hands off on the napkins Maxon had left in the basket and turned to face Maxon. "Thank you for the tarts," I said. "They were delicious."

"It was my pleasure," Maxon replied. He put his arm around my shoulders, bringing me towards him. I leaned my head on his shoulder, enjoying the warm Angeles air. I smiled and closed my eyes for a second, feeling relaxed for the first time that day.

"This is so nice," I said to Maxon.

"My thoughts exactly," Maxon said. I could hear the smile in his voice.

After a while Maxon broke the silence. "So," he began. "How are you doing, really?" He asked. He knew that we'd barely scratched the surface of what we really wanted to say to each other at dinner.

I gave a weary sigh. "Exhausted, if I'm going to be honest. I was busy the entire day, with Silvia, the caste elimination project, and the wedding planning. Basically what I already told you at dinner" I paused for a moment. "But even though the caste elimination project has been kind of stressful, I've really been enjoying working on it. It's like I'm getting to make my dream a reality," I explained. "What about you? How are you really doing?"

Maxon shifted slightly next to me. "I'm exhausted as well," he admitted. "I've been so busy with the New Asia stuff, working on everything I told you at dinner. It's hard trying to fix our damaged relationship. I hope it works out in the end."

"I hope so too," I said. "It sounds like a lot of work."

Maxon gave a slight nod, before going back to the topic of my stress. "I'm glad you're enjoying working on the caste elimination project. I knew it was something you'd like. But let me know if you need any help with it, okay?"

I nodded, and he continued. "I'm sorry you're so stressed though," he said, sounding worried. "Maybe you should delegate some of your tasks. Have Marlee help with the wedding planning, or things like that. And I can help you with anything you need, or course."

"No, it's okay," I said quickly. "It's a lot, but I don't mind it. I want to help Illéa as much as I can." I sat upright and turned to face Maxon so he could see how serious I was. "But," I added, half-jokingly, "I wouldn't mind sending Marlee to lessons with Silvia in my place."

"What do you mean by that?" Maxon asked, a slight frown on his face.

"Oh, nothing," I said. "It's just that the lessons with Silvia are actually the most stressful parts of my day. Not that it's her fault or anything," I was quick to add. "She's teaching me how to be a queen, which as been very helpful, but it also worries me. There's so much to it, so many things I have to do and remember and a certain way I have to act all of the time. I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can be a good queen." I bit my lip, looking at the grass below the bench instead of meeting Maxon's eyes. I hadn't planned on ranting about my worries to Maxon. Not when he was already so stressed with his work.

"America," Maxon said, looking deeply into my eyes, "You will make a great queen." He took my hands in his. "You care so much about this country. You have such a deep knowledge and understanding of the people of Illéa. You're passionate and you have a strong sense of right and wrong. And like my mother always says - or said, actually -" he flinched at his mistake. "Being yourself is what's important. Illéa doesn't care what you wear and how formal you are. They care that you care about them."

My heart fluttered at his response. Knowing that Maxon believed in me meant so much. But I noticed that Maxon looked sad all of the sudden.

"I'm...I'm sorry that you have to deal with this." He looked away. "I wish I could make it better."

No, no! I didn't want Maxon blaming himself for this. "No, it's not your fault," I rushed to say. "I'm not blaming you at all. I have no regrets. I love you, and I want to marry you, Illéa or not. Being queen, while it may be a lot, is a job I'm honored to take. It's like you said. I love this country and I want to help its people."

Maxon gave a weak smile. He still didn't look convinced. "If you're still worried about anything, let me know," he said. "I'll help you in whatever way possible. And if you want to pass on the caste elimination program to someone else..."

"No," I said firmly. "I love working on the project, and I want to play a crucial role in its development and execution." I tugged on his hands a little bit, trying to meet his gaze. "Trust me, Maxon. I want to be with you, royalty and all."

"If you're sure..." he said. "I love you too, you know."

I smiled in response, and brought my lips to his in a kiss.

We stayed out for a little bit longer, looking at the stars, but there was an awkward silence between us. I felt bad for making Maxon blame himself for my worries, but I knew that it was something that we were going to have to talk about sooner or later. At least now everything was out, and we could have time to think about it on our own before discussing it again later before the wedding.

That night, I fell asleep with the feeling of Maxon's hands on mine, hoping that anything weird between us would pass.