Miles Apart - Sam Kiszka x OC fanfic

CHAPTER 26: UNFIXABLE

aahhhh sorry for not updatingg school is kicking my ass atm
TW: drug mention, comment on suicide
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"You're killing yourself, Sammy," I whispered as I watched the tall, seemingly more skinny than normal boy struggle to pick himself up off of the hotel bed.

"Hm, no. I'm just figuring out an easier way to live," he chuckled, clumsily stumbling all the way to the bathroom.

"Oh, really? Prostitutes, drugs, and an abusive girlfriend? That's easy to you?" I snapped, my protective instincts for him taking over. Sam merely sighed, letting his body softly fall against the bathroom wall. "Sam, please. I'm worried about you, okay?"

"Are you worried, or are you jealous?" He breathed, a disapproving look on his face. I took a breath, trying to hold back the automatic reply of anger trying to force its way out of my mouth.

"Worried, Sam. I know you're smart, I know you learn from your mistakes, and I know how much you hate Santana. I'm worried because this isn't you, this isn't Sam."

"How would you know? You were gone for five years," he finally yelled, inching closer to me. "I've been doing drugs since our first tour, and I've been fucking Santana for three years. Sure, she isn't my favorite person, but she's an easy fuck so I honestly couldn't really give a shit about her personality."

"You're hurting other people, Sam. You have to realize that," I said, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

"Like who? Jake? Josh? Jake fucking left me in Frankenmuth alone when I needed him, and Josh is the most egotistical douchebag I've ever met," his face changed suddenly, a cocky grin spreading across his lips. "Or are you talking about yourself?"

"Yeah, I am talking about me, Sam. You're hurting me." I cried.

"Why? Cause' I'm fucking Santana instead of you?"

I didn't respond.

"Not my fault she's easier than you," he shrugged, evidently more and more irritated at my blank expression. "God, do I have to spell it out for you?! I didn't invite you over all of last week to hang out; I invited you over to fuck you and kick you out like I did at the Gov Ball."

"Sam, pl-"

"No, Bella. You don't get it. I don't care about you. I don't care if I'm hurting you. You're just another girl to me, okay?" He angrily stated, not breaking eye contact with me once. My eyes explored him as he came to the realization of what he'd just said. His eyes were red and dark like he hadn't slept in days, his hair disheveled, and his body hunched over like he couldn't remember how to stand up straight. After a minute of silence, he exhaled, covering his mouth with his hand as his eyes filled with regret. He fell onto the bed, letting his head fall into his hands as he caught his breath.

"Listen, Bel, I-"

"No, you listen. I know this isn't you, and I know you're going through a lot, but fuck you, Sam."I hissed, "I lost my job because of you. I wasn't there when Lilli was bleeding out on the ground because I was with you. I used my best friend to get back at you and now he won't talk to me. I gave you my everything, Sam." I yelled, tears pouring down my face. He looked at me, realizing he'd made a mistake as he stood up and carefully walked over to me. He held my still hands between his shaky ones and opened his mouth to say something, but only silence prevailed.

"Bella..." Sam sighed.

"It sucks because I really love you," I sniffled, his words finally hitting me, "Fuck, I really love you."

He pulled me into his chest, delicately wrapping his arms around me, letting me cry into him.

"I love you, Bella. So much."

"Fuck you, Sam," I whispered as I sobbed into him, not ready to let go.

I eventually peeled my body away from his, my teary eyes meeting his glossy ones. I stared at him and hoped he'd say something, anything; but he didn't. He didn't move a muscle.

"You know I'm always there for you, but until you figure your fucking shit out, stay the fuck away from me," I demanded, wiping my cheeks as I turned around and walked out, not another thought in my mind but how bad I wanted to stay there with him.

He didn't follow me, didn't open the door to watch me go. He let me slam the door in his face and walk away from him indefinitely. He let me go. Maybe it was all an act; his meaningless 'I love you,' and pity-soaked hug. He wants to be the victim in this situation, and quite frankly, he is; I just can't sympathize with him when he's broken me down this many times.

I ran out of the building in tears, my heart pounding, and my stomach turning. I didn't know my way around California all that well, so I followed the 2 block-long line that started just across the street from the Roosevelt until I made it to the Coachella venue. I cut to the front of the line, flashing the security guard a smile as I approached her, attempting to remain composed.

"Hi, I'm Arabella Ashford. I'm here to see Jake Kiszka from Greta Van Fleet."

"Yeah, so are you and the rest of the people here, lady. Get to the back of the line," The guard muttered.

"No, I'm sorry, I should've clarified; he's my friend. I need to talk to him," I nervously chuckled, fully knowing that I seemed like a crazy fan. "Here, I'll facetime him."

"No, no. You really don't have to. You just need to get the fuck out of my line," the guard groaned as she grabbed my phone, pushing it back into my purse.

To be fair, I probably looked like a mess and I was acting hysterical.

"Bel? Where are you?" Jake's voice yelled from my purse; I must've clicked ring without noticing.

"Outside the venue. The guard won't let me in," I said, tears somehow running down my face again without me noticing. I fished my phone out of my purse, showing the guard Jake.

"Hi, ma'am. I'm Jake Kiszka. Bella is my friend and she's had a rough couple of days. Please let her in," Jake said, smiling. The guard blushed, embarrassment taking over her stern features.

"It's so nice to meet you. I'm a huge fan of you guys," the guard grinned, smitten as ever.

"Oh, thanks! Listen, if you let Bel in, me and the guys will swing by later and say hi. How does that sound?" Jake said, openly bribing her. She quickly nodded, letting me through whilst completely starstruck.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"Look up," a voice from across from me said. I looked up from my phone to see Jake rushing towards me, worry heavily strung through his features.

"What happened?" he questioned as I fell into him, crying the hardest I think I ever have.

"Bel, what happened?" He asked again.

"I can't fix him."