Miles Apart - Sam Kiszka x OC fanfic

CHAPTER 39: COME BACK TO ME

"His car's not here," I muttered as we pulled into the driveway of our shared home.

"Don't worry about him, Bella. You've got other things to deal with right now," Sam sighed, getting out of the car.

"But I am worried about him. He's my friend, and I need him, Sam. His kids need him."

"I get it, baby. He's my big brother, and I'm worried about him too, but you need to care for yourself before you care for him, okay?" he said, seeming closer to begging me to drop it.

"Okay," I breathed, trying not to let Jake's absence bother me, though utterly and completely failing as a single, pent-up tear escaped my eye.

"Hey," Sam shushed, rushing to my side, "I'll call him- make sure he's okay."

"Sorry," I sniffled, "I just feel like he's the last little bit of her I have left. He was a big part of who she was and I miss him."

"I know, and I get it, but you have me, and we're going to get our godsons. Jake's choices can't affect you right now, okay?"

I shook my head.

"Listen to me," he hushed, lifting my chin so his eyes met mine, "Jake needs time. It's all going to be okay, maybe not now, but it will be."

"I know, I'm sorry, Sam," I sniffled.

"Don't apologize, this isn't easy. I'm not doing much better than you, but we've got to be strong for the babies, right?"

"Right," I said, trying to smile even a bit, but again failing in attempt.

"Go change, love. I'll give Jake a shout. I'm sure he'll meet us at the hospital like he promised," he smiled, gently rubbing my back as I walked towards the house.

From the second I entered the house, I could smell the faded scent of Jake's cologne looming in the air. It trailed behind me as I made my way to my room, stopping suddenly in front of his door as I heard the light click from the other side.

"Jake?" I called out. The floor creaked a few steps ahead of me, but still, I was met with silence. I peered my head around the corner and out the living room window, only to see his car parked across the street.

"Jake, I know you're in there," I said a little louder this time, "Please just fucking talk to me."

"I can't," his voice rasped through the cracks of the door.

"I can't keep doing this, Jake," I breathed.

"Then stop," he said.

"What?" I questioned, anger ticking inside of me like a bomb, ready to explode at any minute.

"Then stop," he reiterated, "I can't talk to you, Arabella. I can't do it. Move on and stop fucking trying."

"Fuck you, Jake," I huffed, tears pouring down my face.

"Don't do this, Bella," he mumbled, "Don't say shit you're going to regret."

"No! You know what? You're the most selfish person I've ever fucking met. Yeah, Jake, she's gone, but that doesn't mean we have to lose you too. You're practically dead to all of us at this point, and to what? You're fucking narcissism? Do you really think the world revolves around you so much that you don't have to suffer through this like the rest of us?  That you don't have to endure the fucking pity, the memories that she left behind, your own god damned children? Fuck. You. Jake. Fuck you," I yelled, not a thought but red hot anger in my mind.

"I'm sorry," he tried, but the point of no return was well past, and I no longer cared about the fact that we both were merely trying to survive, even if this was his way of doing so.

"If you were sorry- if you even cared, you'd stop hiding behind a door like a coward and face the fucking music," I snapped, stomping to my room and changing as quickly as I could before rushing out of the house.

"I love you, Bella," I heard Jake yell as I slammed the door.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong?" Sam asked, running up to me as I sprinted down the front steps.

"Nothing, let's just go," I said through tears, brushing him off completely.

"Bel, talk to me."

"Sam, please. Let's just go. I can't talk about anything right now, okay?" I sniffled, trying not to explode at him.

"Alright, alright," he backed off, climbing back into the car.

As I opened my door and began to climb inside, I heard the rumble of an engine and the squeak of rubber-burned tires taking off ahead of me. I quickly glanced up only to see Jakes' car turning around from where he was parked and taking off down the road; his eyes meeting mine as he raced off.

"Fuck," I sighed as I got in and slammed my door, not knowing whether I should tell Sam about our fight.

"Ready to go?" Sam asked in ignorance.

"Yeah," I inhaled, clutching the fabric of my shirt in my hands as we began driving. Sam's hand gently trailed my knee in an attempt to keep me calm as he drove, softly humming along to his music ringing through the speakers.

"I'm scared, Sam," I admitted as we began to near the hospital.

"Why?"

"I don't know if I'll be able to look into their eyes. The first baby -the one I got to meet- he looked so much like her. I just- I'm scared I'm not going to be able to even look at them, better yet allow myself to love them. Is that terrible?" I muttered, my eyes glued to my lap.

"No, it's not terrible, but I know how much you're going to love those babies. Don't stress yourself out over it, doll. The second you see them, you'll be okay," he assured, gently squeezing the place on my leg he once trailed over.

"Yeah," I mumbled, relaxing into the seat and staring out the window as we drove, trying to remember happier, easier times.

"Thank you, Sam. You're a good friend," Lilli mumbled, pulling the tall boy into our hug. He laughed, giving in eventually and cradling the both of us in his arms as we laid our heads on his lap.

"I think we'd be good parents. I mean, imagine the three of us raising a child. That would be one cool kid," I slurred.

"They'd have the best music taste," Sam agreed.

I scrunched up my nose, disagreeing.

"Lilli literally has the worst taste. She listens to Justin Bieber religiously." I chuckled. Sam lightly pushed Lillis's head off his leg.

"Count me out, then. Justin stole my Birkenstocks, so if you want your child to be a little thief, then definitely raise them as a Belieber," he cackled. We all laughed until the temporary joy wore off, the sudden dread of her very real situation hitting.

"You're going to be okay," Sam whispered, "I know my brother. He chases what he loves, regardless of circumstance, and he loves you more than anything," he said, kissing her softly on the forehead before kissing me.

"Okay," Sam sighed, stirring me out of my thoughts, "you ready to meet your godsons?"