Caught in Between

-31-

I had fallen asleep after I tucked myself into bed. I wasn't able to dream, all I was able to do was be alone in darkness with my own conscience. I attempted to call out to Liliana multiple times, maybe there were words of wisdom that she or the other Vampire Queens could provide me. I was completely lost with no one to offer me guidance, and I was doing my best to avoid conversing with Keith and Kaleb.

The truth was, after spending enough time by myself, I began to feel guilty about what I had said to them. I knew it was too harsh. I was ashamed and mortified, knowing I was capable of speaking those words, especially to the ones I loved. And it made me realize how rude I was to my mother, blaming her for being an alcoholic after my father died when I also had my own problems I was dealing with. I wished she was still alive so I could apologize and hug her one last time, and tell her that I was wrong and that it was okay for her to find someone new and focus on her own happiness.

"It takes time," Liliana's voice rang out and my eyelids flung open. There she was, sitting at the edge of my bed with her arms elegantly resting in her lap. "It takes time for emotional wounds to heal."

"H-How are you in my room?"

"Only you can see my spirit, Rebecca. Or have you forgotten?"

"Nope, did not forget, it just freaked me out a little bit."

"Of course. You'll eventually get used to me appearing and disappearing here and there. Anyway, I sensed that you called out to me and I knew why. There is not much advice I can offer, but know that your Mates are here for you. They are determined to protect and fight for you without any hesitation, and they'd go to the ends of the world to do what's best. I know you regret what you said to them, and all your feelings that came with it. All vampires have a human-like quality about them, and we should never be ashamed of it. Emotions are normal. But do not let them deter your judgement. Always think logically and rationally, as you are not just a vampire, but the Vampire Queen. You cannot lead others, if you are unable to get a hold of the reins to yourself."

"What do you think I should do about Debby?"

"Ahh, yes, Debby. Your childhood friend who you claim as a sister. I understand how close the two of you are, and the attachment you have toward her. I apologize for being straightforward with you, but you can't let her be a distraction. There are larger things ahead of you that will go down in the history between vampires and werewolves, and you cannot let a friend hinder your path to success. For the time being, listening to your Mates is your best bet. Any decision you make going forward also affects them. You may be content with being reckless, but what of the damages they will suffer as a result?"

I bit my bottom lip, fully knowing of the remorse that would consume me if anything would happen to Keith or Kaleb because of me. I hung my head down with a guilty sigh. "I know.. Thank you," I said as tears trickled down my cheeks.

She extended her hand out and used her thumb to wipe some away. "Now that you are aware, I entrust in you to make rational decisions. Be safe, Rebecca." And just like that, her spirit dissipated and I was left, yet again, alone in my somber room.

I tolerated a few more tears before I wiped them away with my hands and straightened myself out, attempting to get my act together until I decided to confront the Korren brothers. Liliana was right. I was the fucking Vampire Queen, and I had no time to be immature or selfish.

I collected myself and rushed out of my bedroom and into the living room where I found them discussing amongst each other on the couch, away from the hole I had put in it. I cleared my throat and they both turned their attention to me.

"First, a new doorknob, a new couch, a new kitchen table and a new wall. Second, I am very sorry about how I acted earlier. It was totally uncalled for and it wasn't okay. I hope you two will forgive me." I shifted back and forth from the balls of my feet to my heels, nervous that they wouldn't forgive me. But who was I kidding?