Finding My Way

Good Enough

I sit on my bed, leaning against the headboard with my knees drawn up to my chest. I wrap my arms around my legs and rest my head on my kneecap as I sigh, thinking over everything that happened over the last twenty-four hours.
Gwen had tried to insist she stay with me until my parents got home, but I told her I would be fine. I just need time alone, to think... to process. Life was going to hard, especially when trying to avoid Chase. I don't know how I'm going to do it. But at least Gwen will be giving me rides to school.
I ignore my phone as it continues to buzz incessantly on my nightstand, sure that it's Chase. It has been buzzing ever since I got home, which is odd because he should've been in detention, but I guess there's no doubt he compelled his way out of it.
Finally, I give in to looking at all of the notifications:

15 missed calls from Chase <3

Chase <3: just pick up the phone, y/n
Chase <3: can we just talk about this??
Chase <3: this can't be your way of breaking up with me
Chase <3: please talk to me i just want to know what happened... what changed?
Chase <3: y/n please pick up the phone!

The text messages go on from there, all varying ways of saying the same thing. He wants to talk, he wants to know what happened, most of all, he wants to understand. I can't give him the explanation he needs, because I don't even understand it myself. Something just clicked last night, and I knew I had to break up with him. He deserves someone better. Someone good enough. Someone who actually deserves him. Unfortunately, I know that that can't be me.
In a moment of stupidity, I answer his call.
"Y/n! Thank god," he breathes into the phone, and I can tell he's been crying.
I take a slow breath as I listen to him breathing deeply.
"Please talk, please say something," he starts to plea, but I remain silent.
"God, y/n, I don't care if you start yelling at me and telling me what a piece of shit I am, just say something. Anything."
My phone starts buzzing in my hand and I pull it away from my face long enough to see it's my mom calling.
"I have to go," I whisper before hanging up on him and answering my mom's call.
I take a deep breath before saying, "hey."
"Hey babe," she chirps into the phone. "So I have some bad news."
"You have to work a double?" I fill-in, seemingly knowing the news before she even tells me herself.
"Yeah, dad and I do. I'm sorry, baby. Just order what you want for dinner and I'll pay you back when we get home."
"Okay, love you." I wait until she says it back before hanging up.
I look at my call log and debate whether or not I should call Chase back. I don't want to completely cut him out of my life, but if I don't he'll wait for me to want to be with him again. And let's be honest, one bite would change my mind almost instantaneously.
I sigh and shake my head to clear it, before tapping the screen to call Gwen.