notes: yeah this is a little different because i usually don't write rpf, but this wouldn't leave my brain. uhhh anyways. not proofread because this was written on a whim, so sorry.
vent/comfort fic requests?
warnings: eating disorder vent fic. sorry im struggling still really bad :/.
. . .
scarlett watched you color from your bedroom doorway. you had no idea she was in town to visit. your mom wanted it to be a surprise, she knew how close you were with scarlett.
unbeknownst to you, your mom filled scarlett in on your relapse. you thought you'd hidden it well, but when you came home and found a box of laxatives sitting on the table you knew your cover was blown. since then things have been tense and you were refusing almost everything offered to you. your mom hoped that scarlett may be able to offer some help.
"hey there, sweetheart."
you turner around immediately at the sound of her voice.
"scarlett? oh my god!" she pulled you in for a hug. "what are you doing here?"
she smiled at you. "filming wrapped up and i just thought i'd come down to see you and your mom." you snuggled further into her embrace. "i missed you."
"i missed you too sweetheart."
you pulled back after the hug. "what are you doing here?"
scarlett let out a sigh, "well i'm not one to shy away from the truth, your mother called me here. she thinks i might be able to talk to you about what's going on."
you nodded, unsurprised, but unsure as to what to reply with. you were glad she was here, but under different circumstances her surprise arrival would've been better.
"so what's up?" she pushed gently. "i'm sure my mother already told you everything,"
"she told me her side and what she's seen. i'd like to hear it from you if that's okay."
you shrugged. "it's just a small slip up, no big deal. you know how my mother is."
"that i do," she giggled. "always worried about someone else-"
"which is exactly what's happening now, scarlett. she's just worried over nothing."
"nothing?"
"yup." you confirmed, ready for the conversation to be dropped.
"so relapsing isn't something she should be worried about?"
"nope. it was just an old box of laxatives i forgot to throw away, that's all."
scarlett raised her eyebrow at your response. "i thought you said it was just a slip?"
it was your turn to sigh now, getting up to lay on your bed, back faced towards scarlett.
everything felt stupid. your eating disorder, your mind, everyone's approaches, the whole situation just felt stupid.
"look, i'm not here to threaten you into treatment or anything like that. i just want to know what's going on."
"so you can go tell my mom and then she can threaten me with treatment." you snapped. "this is all a fucking joke."
scarlett moved to sit on your bed, not shy about making herself comfortable. she propped her feet up and leaned her back against the wooden frame holding everything together.
"i won't tell her anything you don't want me to, you know that. we've known each other for how long now? your mother still doesn't even know about the time i picked you up from school because you got in a fight against a girl who dumped her lunch all over your head." she joked, attempting to lighten the mood. and it worked judging by the small laugh she heard come from her side.
you thought about it for a moment. what scarlett said was true. she'd been keeping tiny, meaningless secrets you shared with her from your mother your entire life, even the big ones you were sure she'd tell.
like the time you got in a fight at school.
so carefully, you moved to lay flat on your back.
progress, scarlett noted.
"i'm sick of living like this, scar. and i know it won't go away. i have to live with this for the rest of my life. constantly choosing between life or death, a cup of yogurt for breakfast or nothing at all. eat dinner and please my mom or cause an argument over something as small as an extra serving of green beans. i'll never know what it's like to not live with the guilt of eating food and i just don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. it's just easier to let myself die from this than try to go against it and everything i know."
scarlett hummed, rubbing your back for assurance.
"i don't know what's considered right and what's considered wrong to tell you, but i do know that there is more to life than your eating disorder. i promise you that. and i know you've probably heard that a thousand times from a thousand different people, but it's true. maybe, if you choose to get better, i can take you somewhere, anywhere in the world you want to go, i'll make it happen."
"what happens if i don't get better? what if i die from this?"
you watched as scarlett bit the inside of her cheek. "well then i'd be very sad, your mother would to. i don't think anyone wants to watch their child die."
"i don't want to live like this." "i don't want you to die like this either."
her words stung your heart because you knew there was nothing but truth to what she said.
live or die? that was entirely up to you.
