note: idk what this is tbh. just got a spark of inso from being delusional. part 2 coming soon !!
also, please do not steal or plagiarize my works, especially on my vent fics. those are extremely personal to me and i find it incredibly disrespectful when this happens.
warnings: uh a little bit of violence?
summary: it's just you and your ex. zombie/apocalypse au.
. . .
everything happened so fast, you didn't have time to process anything that had happened. one day everything was fine, then the next you were hiding out in abandoned warehouses from zombies.
it just so happened to be a coincidence that you'd run into your ex-girlfriend, natasha. despite your annoyance though, you tried your best to be civil with her each week that went on, but she had no interest in returning the favor. every day it was something new, some snarky comment from her mouth every five seconds. you wouldn't be surprised if she left you for dead if it came down to it.
nonetheless, you decided it would be best to keep your distance and only talk to her when necessary.
today started out just like the rest. you woke up to natasha's foot kicking you awake and a harsh glare written all over her face.
"get up. we need to stock up on supplies again."
begrudgingly, you woke up, wiping away the sleep from your eyes with the tips of your fingers. it'd been a few days since you last went out. you tried to conserve as much food as you could, but natasha seemed to have a petty habit of eating what you tried to save for later.
you followed natasha out of the warehouse, silent as ever. the both of you had done a pretty well job at building a fortress for protection against the zombies.
knife in hand, you crouched down next to her, using the leaves from the bushes in your face as camouflage. there were a few stray zombies outside the perimeters of your (somewhat) safe haven.
"don't step on any sticks." natasha reminded you.
"i know, natasha. i'm not stupid. let's just get this over with. go on and i'll cover you."
the redhead rolled her eyes, but followed your order. after all, it would be you who'd be dead first if it came down to it. natasha didn't even bother to make sure you were doing okay on your own. "out of sight, out of mind," she reminded herself.
everything had been going fine. natasha had been gathering abandoned cans of food and water bottles in her backpack, occasionally finding something else worthy of her time like a bottle of tylenol.
then the sound of your scream caught natasha's attention. she tried to brush it off, pretend that you weren't in any kind of trouble, but she couldn't ignore the broken cries of her name when they left your mouth.
hurriedly, she stuffed everything in her bag before zipping it shut and making her way to you. your eyes locked on hers, begging for her to do something.
"natasha please! get it off of me!"
but she stood there, watching you fight a losing battle against a zombie twice your size. you broke into cries when you realized she wasn't doing anything.
"i don't want to die, natasha! get it the fuck off of me, please!"
it took her a moment, but she finally came to her senses. in one swift move, she stabbed the zombie in the side of the brain, pushing it to your side before injecting the knife to its head a few more times. when natasha was sure it was dead, she turned to look at you.
your body was visibly shaking with fear, face stained with tear tracks as you looked up at her.
"you hesitated. you fucking hesitated to save me. jesus fucking christ natasha, i know we have unresolved history but even i wouldn't have stooped so low as to sit back and watch you fight for your life knowing i can do something about it! look around, natasha, do you honestly think what happened between us really fucking matters right now?" you growled, getting up on your own two feet and stomping away.
you didn't bother looking at her the rest of the day. and for some odd reason this bothered natasha to no end. she'd been so stupid and selfish to do such a thing. what was it for? vengeance? self-satisfaction? natasha didn't know, but she'd do everything differently in a heartbeat if she could.
she watched you from afar. your back was turned towards her, but she could tell your breathing was beginning to become erratic. not once in the last few weeks had you shown any signs of nightmares. your ex wouldn't even blame you if you did. the world had gone to shit and both of your lives were turned completely upside down.
natasha bit her lip, debating on whether or not she should comfort you. she decided to leave it for now. you probably didn't want anything to do with her anyway.
over the next few days, you noticed a slight change in natasha. she seemed to be a little more gentle when it came to you. her snarky comments had subsided and her concern for your wellbeing only grew as each day passed. that included your nightmares.
the only problem was that you still hadn't said a word to her since the incident. how could you? natasha was ready to leave you to die without any hesitation.
your whimpers drug natasha away from her thoughts. now was not the time to overthink everything again. instead of leaving you alone this time, the redhead elected not to ignore your cries for help. she crawled over to where you laid, brushing the hair out of your face before nudging you gently.
"hey, wake up." she tried, but to no avail. "c'mon, you're okay."
you twitched in your sleep, eyebrows furrowing together. you were dying all over again and you could see natasha staring with a smirk on her face. you were helpless.
"hey, shhh, you're okay." natasha adjusted you so that your head was resting in her lap. her fingers lapped through your hair, yet another attempt at trying to snap you out of your dream.
you woke up with a jolt, fleeing from whatever presence was behind you. your rapid breathing only made natasha want to pull you back closer into her arms again.
"you're okay, y/n."
natasha didn't receive a reply as she watched you put your emotions back in place. you were closing yourself off from her and she didn't want that. not anymore.
"i'm sorry."
you didn't answer her, only staring at the ground as you held your legs close to your chest. you were still so scared, of her, of the apocalypse, of death. she toyed with your fear that day, you weren't ready to deal with her apologies.
but natasha didn't care. she needed you to know how serious she was about regretting her choice of action.
"i really am. i didn't mean to, i-i don't know what came over me."
another beat of silence.
"please say something, anything."
"you want me to say something? fine. that was the worst thing you've ever done to me. how could you be so cruel, natasha? to just stand there and watch me about to be turned into one of those things? i bet you'd prefer that honestly, use it as a free excuse to just have an excuse to finally kill me."
natasha swallowed the urge to argue back. you had every right to be upset with her.
"i can't sleep at night because of you. i was fine with your snarky comments and hatred for me, that i could deal with even if it was inconvenient. but this? you took away what little sanity i had left in this world."
you stared at the redhead, guilt plastered all over her face. the real challenge was knowing that you still loved her like you did all that time ago.
"i'm sorry." she whispered.
"yeah, me too."
