notes: yasss slayyyy ? u should check out my tiktok btw @/ihartnatasha just ignore the recent edit because videos of scarlett smoking are always in 240p >:(.
warnings: none?
please don't plagiarize my work!
. . .
another week went by, hardly a full conversation had yet to be spoken between the both of you. natasha did surprise you by leaving early one morning and getting supplies on her own. you muttered a small thanks before digging in the cold can of beans she handed you. that same day she offered you the rest of her can, but you denied her kind approach. natasha had been doing this since you talked to her, but you knew it was just her way of showing how sorry she was. you weren't stupid, and you weren't about to let her die of starvation from her own guilt.
it was raining today. it seemed the world knew exactly how to reflect on how you were feeling.
you sat on the roof of the warehouse just beneath a sheet of metal protecting you from the heavy drops of water. it was important to keep an extra eye out when it was raining. zombies could easily slip between the cracks of your shelter and you wouldn't hear a thing because of the weather.
it was unlikely to happen though, given how secure natasha was, but it was still a possibility. plus, sitting on the rooftop gave you a sense of normalcy again. you remembered days like this when life was the way it should be.
you were so immersed in your own thoughts that you missed the sound of natasha's footsteps making their way behind you.
"y/n?"
you snapped your head up in her direction.
"yes?"
natasha stood awkwardly in front of you, her gaze switching from your eyes to her hands.
"can i sit with you? it's okay if you don't want me to."
you nodded, "that's fine."
neither of you really knew how to act around one another. there was a lot of tension in the air, both of you wanting to say things but not knowing which way to go about it.
that was until, finally, natasha was the one who spoke.
"do you think we'll ever go back to the way we were? the world, i mean." she elaborated.
"i doubt it. not in our lifetime, anyway."
natasha nodded. "so-"
"why did you hate me?" you cut her off.
"what?"
"well do you still hate me?"
natasha shook her head in confusion. "no? no, i never hated you. why would you think that?"
"you're joking right?" you deadpanned.
she grew insecure of her next words. "i never hated you. i hated what you reminded me of."
"your own mistake?"
"you reminded me of how i left the best thing that ever happened to me. and then when zombies became real life and not just something you see on tv. i thought i lost you for good. at least if we weren't living in a horror movie i would have had reassurance that you were still alive, i didn't have that when shit hit the fan. but then there you were, on your own with no one to protect you-"
"i can protect myself, natasha."
"i know," she whispered. "but i always felt better when it was me protecting you."
"well you did kind of a shit job at it last week."
your words stung, but it was nothing but the truth. natasha was never one to hide away from the truth for very long, it always found her one way or another.
"so why didn't you help?"
natasha thought about it for a minute before finally answering.
"i don't know."
you laughed sarcastically, "really? you don't know?"
"i don't! i just got so caught up in everything and then it scared me. when i'm here with you, i forget they're real. then seeing that zombie on top of you, i just froze... i'm sorry."
you hated that you understood where she was coming from. you hated knowing she wasn't entirely at fault. you hated the fact that freezing up was such a normal response to something so abnormal.
"is there any way you could forgive me?"
"i already have, natasha."
she looked at you, her guard completely down with her eyes glossy and red. "why?" you shrugged, "i still love you. i never stopped, even after you left me."
natasha smiled, a single tear making its way down the side of her face. "i never should have let you go."
"i'm here now." you mumbled, fingers tracing the brick wall next to your body.
"lets go inside before it gets too cold. i'll come back out here in a bit to keep watch, okay?"
"mkay natasha."
the redhead offered her hand out for support, dragging you inside safe and sound.
"you need to sleep," she brought up.
"i'm okay, i'll sleep later."
"no you won't," she argued. "c'mon, let me hold you for a little bit."
"it's fine, natasha. besides-"
"you'll have a nightmare, i know. i'm the one that caused them. will you let me be the one to fix them?" natasha looked at you with pleading eyes. it'd been a while since you'd seen her so open and in touch with her emotions. you couldn't help but comply with her request.
"okay."
"okay," she smiled softly, leading you towards the mini fort she slept in. "close your eyes, i'll be here to protect you from the world."
"whatever you say, natasha."
"shhh. just relax."
it wasn't long before you felt her arm around your body, pulling you closer into her embrace. and just as promised, she was there for you when you inevitably woke up from your nightmares.
soon enough, this became all you knew. life before the apocalypse was a blur, but as long as natasha was by your side things would be okay.
