Cassie's Reviews (CLOSED FOR CATCH UP)

5: When Worlds Crossed || conquestofthesomnium

Author: conquestofthesomnium

Book title: When Worlds Crossed

Title

The title is perfect for this story.

Cover

The cover is wonderful! It fits perfectly with the title, and it depicts the difference, but, also, the connection between the protagonists. It also looks like the type of cover I would see on a published book.

Blurb

I like the blurb. It's interesting, you introduced the main protagonists nicely, I didn't find any grammatical mistakes, and the story looks promising. If I had to change something, I would remove the "through peculiar ways" part and maybe the last paragraph, too. I would rephrase the first couple of sentences too. "Adelaide lived a happy life until her mother died. Then, her life became a..."

Great job, nevertheless.

Prologue

I cannot find anything wrong with the prologue. It's intriguing, and the descriptions are vivid and colorful. The final line was beautiful, and I could feel that you knew your characters well enough, especially the prince, while you were writing it.

Plot

The story is about two people from different worlds whose lives are about to change when they meet. I've seen the "two worlds collide" story many times but I've enjoyed yours.

When I read the prologue, I thought it was happening in the past and I wondered how you were going to connect it with Adie's world. But then, I read chapter 1 and its ending was better than expected.

The first chapters are set on Earth, so I couldn't learn much about the prince's world. However, I liked that Adie introduced him to various aspects of her world, even the playground. And I liked that the prince had the chance to give small glimpses of his world. Using a different language and introducing new terms was very smart.

On the other hand, I'm not sure if it's realistic that Adie lives alone (even if her uncle checks on her). Also, I thought it was strange that when they visited her, he and his wife had to check the entire house (as always). Adie seems to be very independent, so having them check all the rooms and even finding the prince's clothes felt a little forced for the sake of the story.

I liked the side story with Dave, and I'm curious to see if he's important to the main plot.

Characters

Your characters are interesting, and I loved that you gave little stories to characters that haven't even appeared (yet). For example, the side story with Dave's sister and Adie's father helped Adie show her kind, generous self but also helped to bring these two closer. I loved how you portrayed Adie's thoughts and personality. I can see myself in her. She's focused, smart, maybe too focused for her own good. Her relationship with Dave reminded me of another duo (Netflix's Never Have I Ever).

I liked the contrast between the prince and Adie, especially in chapter 2. You showed the difference between their worlds, Adie's fear and confusion but also the prince's kind personality. The prince's use of "milady" and Adie's frustration was a great comic relief too. I hope the prince brings out the more relaxed self of Adie.

SPaG

I didn't find any spelling or punctuation errors. Grammar is great. In chapter 3, in this paragraph: "It's nine o'clock...hard.", I think you should write "It was" and "she was meant".

At the end of chapter 3, instead of the last line, you could write her thoughts. Something like: "I hope so, she thought". It would make it more personal and less abrupt. In chapter 5, when Adie returns with her uncle and aunt, the paragraph about what they would do, should be "She would be able to distract", "she knew", "they would cook", "they would check", "they would go".

Overall impression

All in all, I would recommend your story to everyone. I probably didn't help a lot but there are so few things that bothered me while reading. Your writing style is great, and your story has the right amount of drama, sad stories, action, and humor. I'm coming back to read more!