Cassie's Reviews (CLOSED FOR CATCH UP)

12: Blue Bloody Ribbons || VeraChendra

Author: VeraChendra

Book title: Blue Bloody Ribbon

Title

The title is original, and it fits the cover. By chapter 5, I couldn't see a connection to the story, but some titles aren't clear until later in the story, so I'm fine by it.

Cover

The cover is beautiful! I like the colors you used and the contrast between the red city layout and the dark figure.

Blurb

I liked that you showed who the main characters are and that the ending was mysterious. The female lead sounds like a strong, clever woman, and I love that. I do hope that the romance won't be the main thing in this story and that the doctor will prove to be cunning and smart.

Opening chapter

The first line is simple yet powerful and intriguing just like the rest of the chapter. It's an action-packed story with a lot of mystery. I could tell right away that your characters have an interesting backstory.

I wish I could say more about this chapter. I liked it a lot. I don't know if I have to fear or like the uncle, but I definitely admire him. It would be nice to see him again in the future. I had a lot of questions regarding her past, her family, and the reasons behind her leave, so I'll consider it a successful first chapter because you hooked me and made me go to the next chapter as soon as I finished this one.

Plot

This isn't the typical mafia story but a refreshing, exciting, and better version of it. The first chapters worked well introducing the protagonists and setting the place and time for the events that'll follow, though they didn't give a lot of insight into the past. Meera's life, for example, is the most mysterious one (to me, at least).

The Farewell family has many members and dangerous life. In chapter 2, when Anya remembered her family, I didn't know who was who (I may have missed it, but I think you didn't mention that they were her siblings. So when she started thinking about how each of them reacted after their father's death, I was surprised.) I like that you are slowly incorporating the other characters in the story, but perhaps, you could either use a couple more info for each character, or you could write something general about her family's state after her father's death.

Adding a rival to the family was a good choice as it showed the family's anger, and I think this man will be the obstacle they need to react to.

And last, but not least, what the f- happened in London? (Kidding, not. You've already hooked me)

Characters

There was a lot of character development. In the first chapter, I could feel Meera's connection with her uncle. She's a strong woman who has probably been through a lot. I like that she's straightforward, strong, and capable, but sometimes I feel that she's faked it so much that she's believed it. For example, in the interview, at first, I thought she was positive and confident but even though Anya wasn't as harsh as she could be, Meera lost her confidence. Or at least, that's how I felt.

Also, close to the end of the interview, Anya says, "Is there anything you'd like to ask?" to which Meera answers, "May I ask you something?" It doesn't make sense, and it felt like a shortcut to use Anya's next response: "You already did but please go on." I suggest removing the first question and letting Meera ask her question straight. She's been straight and honest so far, and she should stay that way.

I love this description in chapter 4: "Their footsteps echoed mine...like a pair of wings." Firstly, I liked the words you used and the beautiful outcome. But most importantly, I liked how you showed a part of Felix's and Nikolai's personalities but also, how bonded these three are. Great work here!

I think my favorite part is any interaction between Ivan and Anya. They're both protective and caring of their family, but also strict and authoritative when needed. I was extremely surprised to read that Anya has children. It would be great to see her vulnerable side.

SPaG

Chapter 1's grammar was correct, but in chapter 2, I noticed some changes in past and present simple in the same scene where Anya and Ivan talk. It continued in the following chapter too from time to time.

In chapter 3, when Meera talks to Anya there's a confusing sentence. "The women in front of me were beautiful." I suspect it's a grammatical error because she was only talking to Anya unless I misunderstood something.

There are some typos in chapter 3, especially during the interview.

The punctuation was mostly correct; Just remember to use a comma before a dialogue tag.

(I didn't know where to mention the following note, but here it is.)

I didn't like the "screenshots". They do make the story more vibrant, but it's not what I'd like to see in a story. However, I understand that this platform works differently, and many people like these things. But you shouldn't leave out descriptions or essential dialogues. (You didn't, but I've seen people do it.)

Overall impression

I wonder why your story doesn't have more reads. It needs more recognition because it's a great story full of action and suspense. I've only read the first few chapters, but I can tell that it's a promising story that could be a huge success!