Cassie's Reviews (CLOSED FOR CATCH UP)

14: Angel-hunters || its_unique

Author: its_unique

Book title: Angel-hunters

Title

I like the title, and it fits the story. However, it's not unique.

Cover

I like the colors you used, and the girl in the picture looks badass. However, the title is a little bit different than the title you've used, and there isn't the author's name on it.

Blurb

The blurb has some typos and grammatical mistakes. The plot sounds interesting and full of action, but it's not intriguing as it could be. I'm worried about the use of a second pov because it's unusual and very difficult to master.

Plot

There were only 3 small chapters so there wasn't a lot of action. The world-building is great, even though the angel/demon arc has been used a lot. I would like to see more world-building in these chapters but you should show the world subtler. For example, you could show Eloise's decision through the discussion and avoid the info dump in the first chapter.

Another thing you could improve is the transition of the scenes. It's best to avoid writing "a few hours ago..." or "in the shop". Especially in the second case, you can omit it completely because you start the scene with shopping. So it's obvious the girl is in a shop.

Characters

I was a little confused at first because you suddenly put an introduction of a pov in the third chapter and used the last sentence of the previous chapter. I later realized that we were seeing the pov from the second girl that appeared in chapter 2. I advise you to omit announcing whose pov it is but show who's talking or thinking in the chapter. Also, another thing I noticed is that you introduced a lot of characters, and most of them weren't memorable. You should give more time and space to the important characters; Show their personality, hint at how they look, and use more descriptions. The first chapter was clearer because you gave a lot of information about the chapter's protagonist.

Again, I cannot say more because the chapters were small, and there wasn't any character development.

SPaG

There were a lot of typos, and I suggest finding an editor or at least using an editing app like Grammarly. Here are a few mistakes I noticed: There's a difference between "your" and "you're"/ "you are". It's "immortal" and not "immoral", "never" and not "neve", "we're" and not "where", and you forgot a lot of apostrophes in "it's" (it is).

Also, you should use only one tense in the same scene. Don't use both present and past simple in the same paragraph.

When you use a dialogue tag (say, answer, tell, etc) use a comma and not a full stop. E.g. "Hello," he said. And don't forget to add a full stop at the end of the sentences (e.g. check the first sentence of the first chapter).

Overall impression

I noticed you haven't updated the story in a long time. I'd be glad to give a more thorough review if you are going to continue the story and when you'll write more chapters.

Take care.