|16| Remember when Carmen Relapsed?

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Turns out going back to my old ways  is a lot easier than I thought it would be. Describing my last few days in one word would be tiring.

It started out ok you know? I had another day of school and I was talking with Sienna and Zoe, everything was fine. I babysat Grace and I was ok, but for some reason I didn't feel hungry for that whole day. And you should only be eating when your hungry.... Right? Anyway I got back home and it was the usual with my siblings, I wasn't on any speaking terms with them. Then I got bored and I wanted to go to the gym.... Maybe that was the problem

I was there for two hours. One hour on the treadmill, half an hour on the cross trainer, half an hour on all sorts of exercises. Got back home, showered, felt a little dizzy but I ate a few strawberries so that was ok. Then I was on FaceTime with Carter for the rest of the night and I had to lie to his face about what I had that day, I felt bad honestly. I followed the same pattern all weekend, although I actually had to force myself to have some spaghetti so that my head wouldn't start hurting again.

Anyway I'm currently in the middle of one of my FaceTime sessions, "Miss me yet?"

"Just a little"

"Aww you do" Carter teases

"Fuck off" I say amused

"What have you had today" He then asks

"A bowl of cereal this morning, a bag of Cheetos and some lasagne"

"Damn, progress. I'm proud of you C"

Fuck my life

"Thanks" I smile

I hate lying to Carter but if I tell him the truth then it just proves his point, then he'll start thinking that it's his fault and I don't want that.

"Alright the boys are here so I'll text you in the morning, then actually see you on Monday" 

I wave a little, "Later"

"Later"

I end the call before laying my head back against the headboard and sighing

Life just isn't working out for me at the moment

My door then opens and Lola walks in, "Dad wants us all downstairs"

I roll my eyes before eventually getting up and following her down. Dad took one of the chairs from the dining room and placed it in front of the couch that my siblings are currently sitting on, I sit on the other couch and Matteo sits beside me. "What's with the dramatics?" Enzo says confused

"Yeah I was on a call" Adrianna says annoyed

"As you guys know your mothers been in the hospital"

"We know dad, some of us actually visited her" She replies

I don't even have the energy to argue, I'm drained. "Shut up Adri" Matteo says

"You shut up-

"Parar" Dad warns, she rolls her eyes before sitting back

"Now tomorrow she's coming back and we'll all need to help her and make sure she's eating right" He continues

"That means hiding her cigarettes" Daniel says

"I'll do it" Lola replies

I hug my legs as dad continues to talk to us, honestly I kind of zoned out. I've only got one thing on my mind..... or should I say one person on my mind. I can't wait for Carter to get back even though I'm wondering what it'll be like, considering that I kissed him the other day.

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