|25| Colour of seduction

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I sit down besides my little brother as he watches the tv, "Hey"

"Hi" He mumbles

"You didn't finish your dinner.....it's almost like we switched bodies", My attempts at lightening the mood fail

He doesn't reply and I sigh

"You were right though, I have been selfish"

Matty finally looks up at me, "I didn't realise how much this would affect all of you guys and I'm sorry" I say softly

"Why won't you eat" He asks sadly

There's really no easy way for me to explain this to a ten year old.

I look up to avoid crying, "Um... I don't know I guess I just-..... I don't know"

I then sniff, "But um, I'm trying to change that-

He suddenly hugs me, "Please eat again. I promise to stop eating your food" My brother murmurs against me

I close my eyes as I bury my face into his hair, finding comfort in his warmth. "I love you you know that?"

He nods, "So much" I add in a whisper

"I love you too"

I then sigh as we pull away, deciding that showing any signs of sadness is over. I don't want my brother to see me like this otherwise he'll worry for me more, "Alright enough tears"

He sits back with me, "What are we watching?" I ask

"Iron man-

"Hell no" Lola grabs the remote

"We're watching pretty little liars" She sits down on the other side of me and Adri sits beside her

"I don't wanna watch that, it's boring" Matty complains

"Don't listen to Santi, you know you like it" 

I look back at him, "If I'm staying, you're staying"

He groans and I smile a little

~*~
You know what's quite surprising? I've never actually thought about weighing myself, not even after I would work out. So when dad had to do it this morning it felt weird. He said that dr Gomez needed to know how much I weighed before he booked me in as an in patient, whatever that means

I woke up pretty late so time was moving quite rapidly, thankfully I didn't have to go to school. Honestly the only reason I would want to go is so that I could see Carter, but I got to stay home with Matty so that was fine.

It's 7pm now and I'm going to the Miller house, Julia's actually supposed to be looking after Grace today but I still want to go and spend time with her one last time. "Daddy I'm going"

He kisses me on the head, "See you tomorrow"

Oh yeah, I kind of forgot to mention that I'm sleeping over. Usually he'd be hesitant on shit like this but it's probably the last time that I'll get to see Carter before I go. That sounds weird now that I think about it.... Where does this leave us?

I close the door after getting into my brothers car and he starts it, "If I hear that you fucked him, I'll end his life myself" Enzo says

I snort, "You act as if I'm a virgin"

"To me you always will be"

I roll my eyes, "Sooo have you told him?" He then asks

I sigh, "No not yet"

"Why not?"

I look out of the window, "I just couldn't bring myself to text him.... And besides it's not like I'm leaving right now"

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