Vampire and Prejudice

Chapter 30 - Elizabeth

We received an invitation to tea, during which Miss Darcy found a moment alone with me and asked as shyly as anything if I would consent to stay as her friend in Pemberley until Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner finished their tour and collected me. She was nervous to the point that it made me nervous, and I wondered at Mr. Darcy's insistence that she do the asking, when I had already given my answer. She was too sensitive and pushing her hardly seemed like the best thing to do when it agitated her so much.

I tried to persuade her with all the gentle means at my disposal that it would be my greatest pleasure to be a guest at Pemberley, and she did seem very delighted at my answer, but she still excused herself and presumably went to lie down. I returned to the parlor with a wicked wish to scold Mr. Darcy, but I could not do it in the presence of my aunt and uncle. Of course, I should not do it at all. It crossed too many lines that lately I was too emboldened to blur.

My aunt expressed her sorrow that I would not go with them the rest of the way, but could also appreciate the generosity of the invitation. And it was not like Pemberley was not in itself a wonder to behold.

"You might endeavor to try out that ten-mile route," Mr. Gardiner said. Though he was in jest, the idea did appeal to me more than was probably advisable. It would take too much time to walk it, and Miss Darcy would be abandoned at the house, not just because she would not have the energy to walk for so long, but also because I had never seen her leave the house and I was sure it was something she just did not do. All alone in this big house, nobody to play duets with, never having the peace of mind that a long walk could afford—I could not imagine living like that. I pitied her and felt all the more warmly towards her.

It was arranged that I would be delivered at Pemberley in the morning with all my things. My aunt and uncle did not think they would be away for more than a week, which left me to contemplate what a week spent in Pemberley would be like. Excitement, fear, dread, longing coursed through my veins, keeping me awake. In the past, I would have been more apprehensive about staying in a house with two vampires, but there was nothing whatsoever sinister or eerie about being around them. Now, there was another matter entirely that occupied me. I no longer supposed that Mr. Darcy could not have any feelings for me—he had them aplenty, the truth of which not even I could stubbornly ignore, though I did try at every turn. The problem was that he should not have feelings for me. It was insensible for him to harbor tenderness towards me when I had treated him appallingly. And if he was insensible, then why should I even think about having him? Because I did think about having him, and those were horrid considerations. It was not drinking blood for the rest of my days that troubled me, but the sense of duty and responsibility the place such as Pemberley demanded. Wealth and connections were all well and good, but might it be too much in this case for me to handle? And what of my own feelings—did I have any tenderness towards him, or was I just flattered that he chose me?

After I had said my goodbyes and saw my relatives go on, Miss Darcy could not wait to show me around. Her excitement did not present itself as it would in others: there were no smiles and shrieks, no happy animation. But there was something about her eyes that sparkled, her subtle impatience at standing still, the way she swayed a little, and a soft hum that came from her once in a while.

First, she showed me a bedchamber of such opulence that I initially took it for her rooms and was shocked to find out that it was to be mine. Too finely appointed for a guest who was of no stately importance and who would quickly be gone and forgotten. I dared not comment on it lest I find out some truth I rather not know just yet. It was much easier to play at indifference when I pretended there was no danger of Mr. Darcy renewing his affections. If he did not ask, I would not have to make up my mind and answer.

"I trust the view is to your liking and all the things are as comfortable as you are used to," she chimed, and I opened my mouth to correct her that none of this was what I was used to, but decided against it.