Sweet Dreams | JAY ENHYPEN

𝘓𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘑𝘢𝘺

Hi, Jay. It's me, Haneul.

By the way, can I steal your surname? Park Haneul sounds better lol! ^^

It's me, Park Haneul.

Hehehe xd

You're probably reading this letter either of these 2 choices. One, you steal my diary and read it, or two, I told you that you can read my diary whenever you want. I don't care even if you sneakily read my book because I love you. You're the most precious person I've ever had in my life, and reading my diary is something I'd want to share with you.

Hey, my memories are back after reading my diary again! See! It actually benefits me!

I write this because I don't want to forget our memories together, I want to engrave all of it inside my heart. Jay, only if you know how much I love you, even words cannot express it.

Do you remember when we first met? It's so awkward! Lol! Specifically saying, it's me who is awkward with you. I remember when I first saw you, you were so handsome and dazzling with those suits and sunglasses on your face.

You offer me money, it's crazy.

You basically offer me to live again, offer me to take second chances. I owe you for that.

Do you remember when I refuse to get off your bed because it was so comfortable? I'm serious. Now, I get to sleep next to you, on the best bed and the most comfortable sheets ever! And not to forget, with you!

You're my first friend, and my first love ><

You're so strict, you rarely smile in front of other people, but you show your fragileness and softness in front of me. I feel like I'm the happiest person on earth!!!

You care for me, you cook for me, you let me stay at your house, you're the first person to compliment me every day.  I love you so much TT

You're my happiness, you're my happy pill. I'm grateful to have you in my life!

Oh btw, I'm writing this night before your wedding.

Honestly speaking, I'm crying...

You're sleeping next to me right now, I hate it. I hate the fact that it's not our wedding. I hate the fact that tomorrow when I wake up, the first thing I'll see is you, and someone else.

On your wedding day, not our wedding day.

I don't want to let go of you, Jay... How am I supposed to live without you? Who is gonna cook for me again? Who will shower me with compliments after you left?

Will I ever get to sleep next to you again? Will I be able to kiss you again and hug you tightly? Will I be able to taste your cooking? Will I be able to play with your hair while watching tv again?

will I be able to smile again?

I don't think so, love.

Jay, I got the feeling. It's a feeling of... Leaving you. Why do I feel like my time is coming? Why do I feel like I'm gonna hurt you soon?

These past few days, I'm feeling unwell, but I don't want to admit it. I don't want you to get stressed because of me...

Remember when I told you that I want to live longer?

Because I didn't get the chance to explore the world yet. And now, you show me the world, you make me the happiest person on earth. Well, I didn't explore the whole globe, but you showed me just enough to make me smile and laugh at your weird dad jokes.

Remember when you told me that you want to die?

Please don't...

You're born healthily, you're young and successful. I know you have your problem with your dad, but problems always can be solved no matter what. You should enjoy your life, love. You're so much more than that.

Please, live your life to the fullest. For yourself.

But if you don't want to live for yourself, then live for me. Live happily, baby...

All of that wish, I can finally let go of it. I used to feel scared of dying, but now...

I'm no longer scared of dying.

Thank you so much, Jay.

You changed my life.

Please be happy...

Eat your meals.

Be healthy.

And lastly...

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry our plan didn't work.

I love you so much, Jay.

Till death do us apart. <3

___