Captive - HIATUS

Chapter Twenty One

Warnings:
Kidnapping
Captivity
Watching sleeping person
Non-consensual touch (non-sexual)
Begging
Nightmare
Unspecified horrific experience
Mentioned abusive parenting
Killing mention
Death mention
Suicide mention
Mind control mention
Falling from great height mention
Stabbing mention
Poison mention
Amnesia mention
Torture mention
Restraints mention

Loki's POV

Loki lifts [Y/N] up off the couch and cradles her in his arms. Her head rests against his shoulder as he carries her sleeping body to her bed. She had been curled up smaller than Loki thought possible, so small Loki didn't see her at first when he walked briskly past the room. She was on the couch facing away from the door, and all he could see was some of her hair on the armrest. Her position looked horribly uncomfortable. [Y/N] has had sore muscles all this time from odd sleeping positions and refused to let Loki heal her. The least he can do is to stop new sores from forming and move her to where she'll be comfortable.

Loki sets [Y/N] on her bed after flipping her blankets up for her to lie on the mattress. He helps her lie on her side, knowing that's how she prefers to sleep. He brings her blankets up to her neck before turning around and silently walking away.

"Loki...."

Loki is halfway out the door when he hears [Y/N]'s shaky voice. He turns around and walks back to her, mentally cursing himself for waking her. "Dearest?"

"Please...please...." [Y/N]'s voice isn't desperate. Every time she has pleaded with Loki, the source has been desperation. But this is different in a way Loki can't quite figure out. She has barely moved from where Loki placed her. Likely terrified to move if she's begging like this.

"How can I help you, darling?" Loki asks as he kneels next to her bed, hoping to seem less threatening if he's at eye level with her. [Y/N]'s are closed, not squeezed shut in terror. Though, slowly, she is transitioning to her eyes being squeezed shut.

"Please...no more...." It isn't desperation in her voice, no. Loki has it figured out now. It's resignation. And she isn't awake. She's dreaming of him. Most likely, he's doing something to her in this dream, something awful. And [Y/N] has lost almost all hope. She only has enough to beg because maybe, maybe, the version of Loki in her dream will give her mercy. But that hope is almost dashed away. "It hurts...please...." What am I doing to her in this dream?! If she's dreaming about 'me' torturing her, why would she feel the need to tell 'me' it hurts? No, the pain must be a surprise, something on top of whatever hel this already is. How am 'I' hurting her?

"Darling, it's alright," Loki says softly as he places his hand on her shoulder and starts to gently rub it. "I wouldn't ever hurt you. This is just a nightmare." Loki pauses. "I can't apologize enough. For everything. There is nothing I could do to set this right. Even still, I will always try. Because you never deserved to be taken from your home and forced into my life. There are reasons for this, and good ones at that, but that doesn't mean this is good. It's only the lesser of two evils. And with whatever choice I made, you'd be hurt. But I would rather emotionally hurt you than let you be physically hurt, likely to the point of death. At least when this is all over, you'll have the chance to recover. You'll be at home, surrounded by those that love you dearly. You'll have their support. I know better than most now that they'll do anything to see you safe. If only they had the same tools as I. Then maybe this would never have to happen. But it does. So much of what has happened has been unexpected. I purposely didn't try to learn much about you, not wanting to make you think I'm an insane stalker. I assumed you have been through trauma, given your occupation. But I didn't think this would spark so many reminders. And I know it makes sense this would happen, but I didn't think I'd wake you up so often from nightmares about me doing Norns know what awful things to you. I don't know if I want to know, not after hearing you plead like that, like you had accepted whatever I was doing would happen regardless of anything you said or did. And to think I'm doing this to prevent harm coming your way. You haven't slept longer than two hours at once in so long. I may not be beating you, but despite my efforts I have hurt you physically, even if not directly. [Y/N], my dearest, you deserve so much better. You should be at home with your friends, having fun with them, going wherever you want, being yourself, seeing someone if you're interested in that, whatever makes you happy. Not stuck in the home of your kidnapper, terrified half to death."