thirteen: what should we be

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I felt so safe waking up in Juyeon's arms... we didn't have to be in any relationship yet I felt like, we could be a good match

should I try hitting on him? I thought as I stared at his face, he was so pretty I wanted to cry... how can some people have so many visuals 

"is there something on my face?" he said as his head moved to face me, he had an asleep smile on, his eyes were half-closed and his hair was messy

"mh" I hummed playing with his hair, moving some hair from his forehead and eyes "beauty" 

after that non of us spare a word, we just looked at each other with weird feelings, I didn't like him in that way yet, but why do I feel so many butterflies in my stomach when I am with him?

"Can I kiss you?" he asked as he moved on his side, his arm got on my left side, supporting himself to not fall on me. His eyes couldn't stop moving from my eyes and lips

"you already got my permission" I smiled as I looked at his naked torso, pulling my hands softly on his skin, doing circles with my nails around the hickeys I made on his body, not neck or collarbone, Kevin would smack tf out of him if he saw 

"How can you be so attractive while doing not really much" he smiled wide as his lips traveled from my breastbone to my neck, kissing it softly, making me move my head back in pleasure. 

It was around 5 am, and I slept for about 6 to 5 hours... yet I never felt so awakened in my entire life

"you can kiss all you want... just don't leave any hickeys, they're hard to cover- especially those from you" I played with his hair, wrapping my legs around his waist, we weren't naked at all, but It felt like we will be, in any second soon 

"what should we be... ?" Juyeon's sudden question made me think for a while

does he likes me?

"what do you want us to be?" I asked him, quietly, not sure if It all is going in a good way, I didn't want to be this bad and use him to satisfy myself only... I'm not that bad to do so, but he wanted that too, it might've been the best I decided to accept, but is it now?

"would it be selfish If I wanted you all for myself only?" he said as his hand hesitated to play with my waist 

"so you like me," I said with eyes stuck to his, trying to read his mind, but he was so... careful with everything now, where did his confident side go to? 

"is that bad?" his voice was half whispering half humming, he raised his eyebrow as I looked away

is that bad?... I don't know, since that day I forgot my memories everything was good, just not the people I gave in and dated, will you be any different? 

"tell me, what are you thinking of right now" he smiled comfortable, putting himself next to me, making my head turn to him again, this time I didn't smile, I was serious about 'us' and what we should or shouldn't be

"what if something happens to us after becoming a couple... we have- well I have that same mf after me again, yet you want to get even closer to me and make more trouble? Don't you know they could use you to get me... what if you'll make me fall for u so bad then leave?" I said with worry 

"why would I-" 

"everyone does at some point, there's no use of lying" I cut him off

"you're scared aren't you?" he said after a moment of silence, he looked at me as I sat up, hugging my knees and looking at the sunrise from the balcony at the right 

"what if I am... is that bad?" I said putting my head on my arms, observing the purple and orange colored sky, making it lighter by the time

"it's not, especially after what they've done to you... you shouldn't hide your real feelings inside, be honest with yourself" he sat up next to me, and put his arm on my shoulders, pulling me closer 

something in me broke, I felt... bad, I wanted to cry, and I couldn't hold back. My tears just fell down my cheeks as Juyeon gasped softly when he noticed, he was taken back but was quick to hug me tighter and made me hug him back. I rested my head on his torso as I cried like I never did before

"I just want it to end, I should just forget everything, and nothing of it all would happen... now everyone is in danger again because of me" I sobbed as Juyeon kept quiet, crossing my back and playing with my hair calming me down 

"don't say that, you were bring into the mess just like Chanhee when he realized, he rushed to help you, but he was tricked... they removed your memories to save themselves, and used his father power to hide it all in files he 'deleted' but New, found them with time and is now suspected just like you are" he explained 

"they're going to kill all of us... we need to finish them before they'll do any more move" I said with my voice trembling a bit, I don't want any of what happened before to repeat

"we need to be careful and stay quiet for a while, if they won't catch any Singh of you two remembering the past, they'll just watch on you from time to time, till they'll forget" Juyeon said as he kissed my forehead 

"They were always after me... Chanhee was clear just like his father, but they never left me. They used me in a few of their missions, I was trained and had to do as they say to save Chanhee, who was saving his father... Uncle never did something wrong, it was just his men who didn't pay for the drugs, I wanted them to pay but got caused for stealing it and they took me for almost half of year, after 5 months Chanhee realized I was with them, and paid them money but they tricked him and... used me as 'payback' of his father, then removed memories and made sure we won't meet again" 

"so... they know where you live, who you are, and what are you doing right now?" Juyeon asked as I looked at him with tears in my eyes and nodded slowly

"They're closer than we all think, yet no one will suspect anything. They're good actors, but I'm better" I chucked wiping my tears off 

"quiet a roller coaster you live..." he sighed cupping my face "how about you'll go wash and I'll check if others are doing?" he smiled cutely, making me feel better just by looking at his bright smile 

"stop making me feel like this, let's not move from this too fast, just let's give us time" I smiled softly back at him, making his eyes wide open 

"are you serious right now?"

"yea, so better not disappoint me, and be careful" I chuckled as he stood up from the bed and quickly pulled me into his hug, spinning me around laughing 

he's so fucking cute- he was literally flirting 10 minutes ago... I can't with his bipolarity 



whoop whoop, more bullshit idk what that is but just to keep the storyline going

have some park subak  tho 🍉

have some park subak  tho 🍉

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