I hate luv stories

5.Paper Rings

"Noni, Moni, Roni, Toni, Boni...." Dino sang (more like yelled) as soon as Vernon picked up his call.

"I'm guessing you're drunk."

"Nope. I'm single and my roommate is having sex on the next room. I walked into them approximately 4 minutes ago and I need distraction to get that view out of my skull."

"Ouch."

"THEY ARE USING THE SHOWER!!! THE S H O W E R!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I knew my roommate's into kinky stuffs! Yesterday i borrowed his laptop and do you know what was the last thing in his browsing history? THE ART OF SPANKING PEOPLE!!!!! and he is subscribed to "THE DIAPER BONDAGE WEEKLY."!!! I just saw a glimpse of his kinky magazine's cover and I don't think there's enough washing powder in this universe to cleanse my eyes from that scene. AND THEY ARE GETTING SO LOUD NOW OH MY GOD!!"

Vernon really felt bad for him now. He is friends with Seokmin and Seungkwan. He has to go through this same shit on a daily basis.

"Are you banging the wall now?"

"Yep."

"You should be happy they didn't ask you to join them."

'I don't even think I remember how to do that , noni. How do you do sex? It's been so long....I think my virginity's grown back."

"Well, have you thought of living your house? You know, enjoy all the fresh air and stuffs?"

"Uhhh...I didn't think of doing that."

"It's okay, brabe, I know thinking isn't your forte."

"You wound me, noni. You really do."

"Good, now that I've crossed that off my to-do list, I think I can go and live my life peacefully."

"Dear diary, I'm in Noni's to-do list."

"You're unbelievable."

"You mean, unbelievably cute? unbelievably funny ? or unbelievably sexy? Well, I'm actually a perfect combination of all three, so don't worry too much about which adjective to use."

Vernon shook his head. There's no point in arguing with that logic.

'I was wondering.... why do we still call? I mean shouldn't we just text or something? Doesn't that what the young lads do nowadays?"

"Have you ever heard anyone saying,' Text for a good time'? It's said, 'call for a good time' for a reason, you know?"

"Call for a good time? Isn't that what people from prostitution hotline say? "

"Uh-huh."

"So, are you perhaps implying that our phone conversations are similar to prostitution hotlines?"

"Well...you did give me boner once."

'' So am i getting payed for this conversations finally? Compensation doesn't really sound that bad.'

'Oh, come on! Don't be so dramatic! We've built up this thing already! The thingness of this thing will be ruined if we start texting now!"

"So, it's a thing now?"

"Of course, it is! You're my personal dating adviser slash my daily insulter - is that even a word?! I even invented the word 'brabe' for you! How can our conversation not be a thing?"

"Personal dating adviser? Your daily insulter? Is that the only identity I have to you?"

"Noni, Don't you think our relationship is pretty one-sided? I know nothing about you. Aside from the fact that, you consider yourself to be Li Shang from Mulan....  You know all of my identifiers! Pokemon genius, charisma god, king of humor. "