𝐖𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 | 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐄𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞

everyone's outfit for dinner party ^

Truly, sometimes I wonder how much better life would be if I wasn't born.

Or If I didn't allow a man, to bring another life into the mess my mother created so many years ago.

She loved Antonia, loved her so much. Not me. I was an object to her, and at her last resort, she used me to buy drugs. Put me in a world I could never get out of.

When Afonso had taken me as some sort of payment, I had no idea what I was in for.

He told me I was special, I was nothing he's ever had before, and that he was going to take care of me.

That all changed when he took me into a room with 7 men, and left me alone with them all.

I lost my virginity that night, and he made 5000 dollars.

I was 14 when he stopped giving me over to other men, he took the interest in me, and married me. I had no choice.

I had no choice either when he told me we were going to have a baby.

"Married couples have babies" he said, and he beat me until I agreed.

I was 15.

I had no choice.

This was all my mothers doings, and I wonder, would I have even ended up better if I stayed with her?

Or just how much life would've been better, if I was not born at all.

If I wasn't born at all, I wouldn't of had to listen to the cry my sister let out when I called her after she told me our mother is back in town.

I wouldn't have to fear for her and my child's life.

That woman created this.

If I wasn't running from that mess, I wouldn't of found myself in this mess.

After a long night of talking down Antonia, it was Sunday. The night of dinner.

I was far from mentally prepared, after yesterdays awful interaction with Billie, and Antonia's text, I barely even slept.

Antonia is in an unknown location in Brazil with Paris, somewhere Afonso or my mother couldn't find them. My fear isn't that she'll find them, her brains too fried to do that.

It's the fact that she's looking, and she's back in our hometown. She only is back because word has gone out that me and Paris fled.

Afonso had told her when she offered me over to him, if I was to ever run away, he would kill her.

I'm gone? So is she.

Afonso is a man of his word, believe me. She's scared.

After Antonia's call, Gabby had called me 14 times until I picked up.

After the 10 minute apology, she told me she was going to be here this morning to talk about today.

Do I trust Gabby? That's questionable.

But she's the determined to get me out of the issue Billie got me into, so I have to.

Setting down two cups of coffee on the table, I sit down and push one towards Gabby, and she gives me a smile.

"Thank you." She says softly, before reaching her hand out and laying it on top of mine. "I promise you, today will go smoothly. I'm sorry again."

My frustration mostly is with Billie, and all I've done is taken it out on Gabby who's tried her best to get me away from it all. I can't help but feel bad for how badly I've treated her for something that her boyfriends sister did.