Manipulation (Kylo x Reader)

Chapter 6 - Infuriating

Kylo's pov

I tried to gather myself after crashing into the command shuttle, but before I could, I fell to my knees, emotions filling my very soul.

I'd never felt emotions so strong—not good ones, at least. They mirrored my rage in their intensity, and tears slid down my cheeks. Love. So much love, it hurt.

Unfamiliar images flipped through my mind, so fast I couldn't decipher any of them. The feeling, however, connected them all. Love.

It was her. These were her emotions. How could one person feel so much?

I think I was screaming. It felt like I was screaming, but my brain registered no noise. I was dumbfounded...lost.

Then, as quick as it came, it was gone. I groaned and forced myself to my feet once more. My eyes scanned the field. All of the men were rising to their feet, but not her.

I heard my mechanical voice yelling her name, her real name. Panic rose in my chest now that her influence was gone; she wasn't connected to the force anymore, though her energy was still vaguely near. I ran to where I saw the Knights heading, but when Kuruk picked her up, I turned sharply, running back to the command shuttle. I started it up with speed, my mind focused on the task, and not the why.

The ramp closed, and I pulled up hard. Darro was standing in the field, watching our retreat. He was terrified.

Rage seeped through my chest as I remembered what had happened. The image brought my thoughts back to the why, as my mind shuffled through the day, starting with the moment I saw her sleeping peacefully in my bed, her arms wrapped around my pillow, her lips spread ever so slightly in a smile. She's even happy in her damn sleep.

She was vulnerable, and I had wanted to creep into her mind again, to feel her, to understand her. But the last time had left me broken, lost. She actually cared for me. The thought infuriated me.

Foolish girl. I'd woken her up, and battled the urge to pull her to me, telling her she didn't have to get up, we could stay in bed all day. I wanted to spend time with her, to hear her endless chatter, to learn everything about her. Which, infuriated me.

Then her conversation with the Knights. They had quickly formed a bond I simply couldn't understand. They were almost instantaneously loyal to her, only a shade less devoted than they were to me. That wasn't was made me angry—I was fine with that, it actually brought me some unexpected comfort.

It was her loyalty to them. She would actually fight for them, protect them. It was like a sisterly or motherly instinct, she didn't even question it. Why? They were her inferiors. Foolish. Girl. Absolutely infuriating.

My mind reluctantly moved on.

How excited she is when she's piloting a ship. I don't know why I let her fly the silencer, nobody else ever has. But she loves my ships. And she's a good fucking pilot. Even when she's fooling around, I can feel half of her attention on every part of the ship and the flying process. She might just be able to outfly me—but then again, both of us were raised by men who loved flying. Neither of them touched the force, and yet, in the cockpit, one might think they did.

I shook away the thoughts about my father.

Her force signature when she saw Darro on the porch. It had been intoxicating, her pure joy. It made me feel giddy for a moment, which, of course, infuriated me.

How could she be so pure but care for me? And how dare she effect my emotions. I do not feel giddy. I growled in fury, punching the console, the pain bringing me back for a moment.