By Creed or By Code

The Non-Decision

Din's POV

Once Din Djarin discovered that his clan was still alive, it had taken at least three months to track down a rumor of what remained of his old covert, which eventually led him to an unknown space station in the Outer Rim. Although he no longer felt like one of them, and he knew they would not accept him once he told the truth, yet he still felt compelled to seek them out.

However, his situation has now changed. The weight of the responsibilities that comes with the title of Mand'alor is on his shoulders now that Kia, along with the remnants of her clan, have so graciously invited him into their newly formed tribe. After three days of isolating himself inside one of the old buildings in this unfamiliar place, Din has had the time to mull over his answer. It continues to pester him tremendously that the only family he's ever known, had undoubtedly exiled him from their tribe without any care or concern for his well-being.

For three desperate days Din has spent in this isolated space, left to his own thoughts. The consequences of being cast out of his old tribe had haunted him, until they suddenly no longer did. It had taken him days to come to terms with the fact that following The Way is not all that made a Mandalorian. His creed has been his protection and his pride for the majority of his life since he was a child. But after meeting with others within his society from different clans, he has come to realize that there is nothing stopping him from keeping his identity, which he held onto so tightly for years, in spite of his sins.

He could no longer give reasons for his fears of what might happen if he were to remove his helmet again. He remembered how he felt so mortified and naked, so disgusted that the first living being to see his eyes since he was a young boy was a sinister Imperial officer on Morak, and he never wanted to feel like that again. Yet in the end, the only justification he could think of is that he did it undoubtedly and intentionally to save his foundling.

This new tribe is offering him a reprieve. To him, it felt like he has been given a pardon, a chance to rewrite what his faith means to him, something he never thought he would be ever be allowed to do. Swearing to a creed is not something he felt he needed to do any longer. One thing he does wish to do, is to redefine what it means to be a Mandalorian and find his own way. He's still not entirely sure if he's going to accept his role yet, but he does wish to seek out more of his kind.

And on his third night of solidarity confinement, there was a new feeling deep inside him that he could not shake, a yearning for comfort that he never thought he needed before. He thought about that night he spent with Kia, how soft she was pressed up against his nude body. It was shameful and he felt so disgraceful to want her in the way that he does.

Kia is powerful in every sense of the word, a beautiful instrument for him to release his pent up emotions on, something he had never thought he desired. He felt he didn't deserve her kindness. But she is not naïve or ignorant by any means, and she was definitely just as willing as he was. He didn't know how she had infected him the way she did. Tonight, he couldn't fucking stop thinking about her. And right now, on this particular night, he needed her skin like he needed to breathe.

Kia's POV

For a good part of three days now, Din Djarin has locked himself inside one of the vacant cottages. No one has dared to approach his door, except to only offer him food and water. Kia knew he is hurting and she desperately wanted to ease his pain. She knew his type. For most of his life, Din was told not to display his sentiments to anyone. Because it would be a disadvantage to feel anything other than the need to survive in battle, for it could make him unsteady and vulnerable to an attack.

Kia knew that his entire world has been flipped upside down in such a short period of time. His beliefs shattered, his clan had turned against him, and now he's being offered to join a new tribe of Mandalorians that he's only just met a few days ago. She wanted to hold him, to tell him everything will be okay and she was going to do anything in her power to help him. She missed the warmth of his arms, but she knew it was best to leave him alone.