The Science of Growing Apart

21- Happy Hour

Every time my phone buzzed with a new text while I was at work, I jumped and grabbed it from my desk to see what the notification was. Sometimes, it was Natalie, other times it was a message from Tinder because yeah, I'm back on that again and I don't need any harsh criticism about it. I was still having very inappropriate dreams about Casey and I needed to do something to get them out of my head. Other times my phone would buzz with a text from him, and even before I'd read the message, I would smile at the screen like an idiot.

The wet dreams, the jumping at each text, going bowling together, they were all signs that I was going too fast, getting in over my head with this relationship very quickly, but there was nothing I could do about it now. I tried to give him an inch of me, but he was taking the whole mile. That was why I desperately needed a date from Tinder to work out soon. I needed a distraction, a reminder that I'm not a teenager anymore and I can't fall back into old feelings with somebody who was engaged.

But then, he texted me asking if we could go out for some happy hour drinks and I eagerly accepted the invitation without even consulting the logical part of my brain that was demanding I decline for the sake of keeping just an ounce of distance between us.

Natalie, after I told her about the plan, agreed vehemently with the logical part of my brain. I think she could tell that I was going down a rough road and she was really trying her hardest to stop me from stumbling.

At the end of my work day, I said goodbye to Clary on my way out the door and drove my merry way to the bar Casey suggested. I made sure my auburn hair looked okay in its pony tail and then I headed inside.

I was wearing a soft white turtle neck, a plaid blazer, and a nice pair of jeans that day. The weather was starting to get nippy outside and I was bundled up to save me from the cold. Other than the frizz in my pony tail, I looked nice. Although, I tried to remind myself, it doesn't matter what I look like. Looking nice was not necessary for me to hang out with Casey. I was spewing tears and snot onto his hoodie just a few days ago anyway, there really was no coming back from that.

"Hey, Josie," Casey waved at me from the bar and I joined him, hiking myself up onto the tall stool beside his. "How was work?"

"Pretty lame today, not very much going on," I told him. "But I think my boss is pretty happy with me right now, the engagement on my articles is up, so things are looking pretty good. Have you gotten a chance to look at the article yet?"

"Yeah, I read through it. Looked good. Is Kripke going to let you publish it there or are you going to sell it to someone else?" he asked me curiously, living his drink to his lips as I waved down the bartender and ordered a fruity beer.

"Th plan right now is to show Kim the article when it's finished and hope that she lets me publish it at Kripke. If not, I don't know. I guess I will have to shop around and find somebody that'll take it. I don't really know how much pull Silas has around here," I admitted to him. I hadn't had time to do the research into how difficult it might be to actually get this published, if Silas is a donor to the paper. We have a politics section of the journal, but I don't think anything this big had ever been publicized there.

"Kripke is already a huge journal, but it would still be amazing press if you guys were the first to report on the story," Casey said and I nodded in agreement. "But no matter where it's published, it'll have your name on it and your career is going to skyrocket."

"Or I'll get attacked and if my sources aren't airtight, it could destroy me," I added, because I was more anxious about the project than I was excited. "I could become a laughing stock, it's nerve wracking."

"You're going to crush it, Josie," he promised me. "Don't stress about it."

I was so stressing about it, but the easiest way to avoid stress was to lock it away in the back of my head and pretend it didn't exist, which is what I did. "Anyway, anything new with your hybrid trees?"