The Science of Growing Apart

27- Voicemail

Well, I guess he listened to the voicemail.

Despite many texts and calls the next day, Casey was radio silent.

All day at work, I imagined what his reaction was when he listened to it. Did he let Rebecca listen to it too? She was going to hate me even more than she already did. They were probably filing a restraining order while I sat at my desk typing about an attempted kidnapping.

The red heat of humiliation didn't leave my cheeks all day.

As I sat in my car after work, I was typing out a text that said I'm so so sorry, I shouldn't have sa-

My typing was interrupted with an incoming text from Eleanor. Can you come over? Casey needs your help with something.

Confused and slightly terrified, I told her that I was on my way. If Casey was going to chew me out for sending such an inappropriate voicemail, why did Eleanor need to be there? Was Rebecca going to be there too? This was going to be humiliating, but I deserved it. I knew that I should have kept my feelings to myself because telling an engaged person that you are in love with them is fucked up. Drunk or not, I crossed a boundary.

I sat out front of Eleanor's house for six minutes before I gathered the courage to go inside. The door immediately swung open when I knocked and I was quickly getting pulled inside by Eleanor.

"What's going on?" I asked her anxiously, noticing how exhausted she looked.

"I was up all night with Casey talking about life and his future and what he wants," she informed me. "So, I'm exhausted. He's in the living room."

Starting to realize this might not be the meeting I thought it was going to be, I followed Eleanor through the foyer of the house to the living room where Casey was sprawled out, face down on the couch.

"Case, Josie is here," she announced to him through a big yawn. "I'm going to order pizza for dinner. Micah and Auden should be home soon."

Eleanor left the room and I cautiously approached the couch. "Is this about last night?" I asked him.

Not looking up at me, he asked, "What happened last night?" His words were muffled by the couch cushion.

Does that mean he didn't listen to the voicemail? I've been so worried for nothing and now that I was there, I could make sure he deleted it without listening. But still, something was clearly wrong, so I needed to change gears and focus on whatever the actual problem was. Without answering him, I asked another question, "What's wrong?"

He let out a loud, miserable groan and then said, "I broke up with Rebecca."

"Oh," I took in a sharp breath as I sunk onto the floor, sitting near the couch where Casey's face was still buried. I didn't know how else to respond.

"I stayed up all night talking to Eleanor about what I should do, I went back and forth with her for hours and I realized that it just wasn't right," he continued to explain to me, finally turning his body so that he was facing me, his words easier to understand without being buried in the couch. "I feel like shit."

"I'm sorry, Case. Breakups are always hard, especially from a four year relationship, but you'll bounce back," I reassured him. "How did she take it?"

"She was pissed," he said, hiding his face in his hands now that he didn't have the couch to burrow into. "Fuck, she was so pissed off. I didn't even have a good reason, I just said that I couldn't see us living our best lives together. My best life is not with her and that's what I said and it pissed her off so much."

"I'm sorry, Case."

"But I think her reaction made me realize that I was making the right decision, because she kept going on and on about what people would think of her, how we were supposed to be this academic power couple. It felt like she was more interested in being with a successful doctor than with me, you know? But I still feel like shit."