I couldn't feel anything. Numb to the screaming, the shouting. All I could focus on was the steps in front of me, the steps I was mindlessly taking.
The noises took me back to forever ago, five years exactly. On this day.
When the only thing I had ever known to be constant withered and died in my hands, by my own hands. And with it, any sanity I had.
It's funny, because they always said one day I'd fuck it all up.
They just didn't say how many times.
I fucked up, more times than I can count. And the thing was, I wasn't sorry.
After Silco's blood was washed from my hands and the image of an explosion had stained my retinas, all I could do...
Was laugh.
I laughed, and I laughed, and I laughed. The cruel sound reverberated against the walls of my skull, filling my head like water. Along with the pounding of that same skull against the bathroom wall, hidden away from the world.
And I was drowning. Gone, gone, gone. The water took to my lungs, making me hack and choke. It sat in my stomach with a newfound stubbornness, willing me to keep going and furthermore destroy the flowers that grew in my throat. Crush them.
Where sanity had disappeared, insanity filled its place and gave me a warm fuzzy feeling, deep in the crevices of my broken, shattered, trampled heart.
And the crescendo. Right in the measure where the notes got faster and the tempo sped up, when I realized I had truly, fully gone mad. I had pushed everyone away with my selfish need to kill this world and strangle it with a vigor I never once possessed.
The swell of voices in my head, I finally embraced them. Welcomed them with open arms. A man's face and a pair of red eyes, promising me we would take on the world. Promising everything and nothing. Did he think I didn't know that he was taking advantage of me? He underestimates me.
But this is how I was. No one could help me, fix me, heal me. No one could fix something that was never whole to begin with, right?
At the end of the day, I am the reason everyone leaves. I cause my own demise, my own downfall. And I've finally realized that, Vi.
And so, with a flourish and a pistol, I fall into the arms of the fighting at the foot of the Palace building, letting myself wreak havoc onto those who just want to help. Doing his bidding, someone's bidding, always and forever. Never on my own, or else my thoughts may consume me. But why don't I let them?
Kill you, Jinx. They want to kill you. Destroy you.
Right, sorry, Milo. They want to kill me. Wrench out my guts and tear open my head.
They deserve to die.
I am, without a doubt, the greatest Jinx to ever exist.
YOU ARE READING
Violet
FanfictionCURRENTLY UNDER EDITING (still available to read.) -vi x femme reader insert -gxg -also I attach songs to the top of the chapters that I think fit with the tone. try listening to them and reading at the same time! don't forget to vote and comment! {...
