𝙐𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙂𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙁𝙖𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣

"Bear Repellent"

(Y/N POV)

"Three teens dead in one week. The mysterious killer, whom the public has now dubbed 'Ghostface,' is still at large-"

I turned off the TV. "None of us are safe. We get the point, Gale," I mumbled through a mouthful of cereal. Woodsboro was now on a 9 o'clock curfew, as a result of rising tension. There have been no other murders since (B/F/N), but there have been a few eyewitness accounts of the creep roaming around at night. 

I had woken up late on Sunday morning, finding a note on the door from my mom.

Went out to breakfast with the neighbors. Figured we'd let you rest :)

I wasn't too keen on being home alone (again), but I did need some extra rest. Especially after Friday night.

As I shoveled more cereal into my mouth, the phone rang. I checked the caller ID, expecting an unknown number; but thankfully, it was just Sidney. 

I picked up the receiver. "Hey, Sid."

"Hi, (Y/N)! Tatum and I wanted to know if you wanted to come to the mall and hang out? We can pick you up in fifteen minutes."

I looked down at my pajamas. "I'd love to, but could you maybe give me a little longer than fifteen minutes? I just woke up." 

"Sure thing! I'll call you back when we're about to head over."

"Okay, bye." I hung up before emptying out my half-eaten cereal into the trash, sighing dejectedly. "What a waste of Fruit Loops," I whined. 

I had barely taken the first step up the stairs before the landline rang again. 

"Gosh dangit, Sidney! Have patience with me!" I snapped as I picked it up. 

"What's your favorite scary movie?"

"Your birth tapes," I deadpanned. "Now stop bugging me, Murder Man! Seriously, it's the middle of the day! Can't you wait until it's dark out? It adds to the ambiance." 

"I wanted to hear your voice," he cooed. 

I frowned. "I'm beginning to wish I'd just let you gut me the first time."

"Aww, don't be such a grouch. I just want to talk."

"And I just want you to shut up."

"That hurt."

"Good." I hung up and waited by the phone experimentally. Once I was sure that he wouldn't call again, I grabbed a kitchen knife and made my way up to my room. After checking every possible hiding place, I picked out an outfit and got changed. 

I spritzed myself with some cheap vanilla body spray I got for half-price, but instantly regretted it. The scent was far too strong for my liking. 

As soon as I finished putting my shoes on, the phone rang again. This time, I checked to make sure that it was Sidney before picking it up. Character development.

"We're on our way! Be there in fifteen."

"Okay. I'll be waiting out front," I told her. I grabbed my jacket off the hook, making sure that my sibling didn't take anything out of my wallet before walking out onto my porch and locking the door. 

My friends pulled up a few minutes later. As I hopped into the back, Tatum made a face. 

"What is that stuff you're wearing?" she asked, gagging a little.

"It's this stupid cheap body spray I got. Worst impulse buy ever."

"You can say that again. Let's hope the smell fades," said Sidney. She rolled down all of the windows. "Hope you don't mind a little bit of wind." 

+++

The rancid vanilla smell did not fade, to put it lightly. In fact, it only seemed to get stronger, much to my friends' dismay. It was so bad that they wouldn't even stand close to me.

"Are you sure that you didn't buy bear repellent or something?" Tatum asked, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

I laughed. "Maybe that's why it was on sale. The label was wrong." 

"With that stuff, I don't think anyone would be willing to get within three feet of you," said Sidney as she watched another group of teens choke on the fumes and move away from me.

"Hmm, I think you're onto something, Sid," I said, an idea forming in my head.

+++

When I got home, I put my pajamas in the sink and dumped the whole bottle of body spray onto them. I then took them out and hung them outside to dry. 

If the body spray worked so well on keeping my friends away, then it's bound to work on that dumb stalker. 

When my mom walked out, she instantly pinched her nose. "Lord, what is that smell?"

"It's psycho repellent. Better safe than sorry!" I told her cheerily.

She shook her head, muttering, "Where did I go wrong?" as she retreated back indoors. 

My sibling slammed my bedroom door open an hour later, shouting, "You used it in our bathroom?!"

My dad, who always had the best sense of smell in our family, just spent the rest of the day in the garage. 

By the time midnight rolled around, I was certain that the cursed body spray would work.

I was only partially right. 

Right as the man in question started crawling through my window (which was open due to the fumes and my own sense of self-preservation), he nearly tumbled back to the ground from choking. 

"You smell...very strongly of vanilla," he managed between coughs.

"Y'know, I think I might just start a trend," I said proudly. 

"Darling, you need to do some serious soul-searching if you honestly think someone will follow your terrible example." He crawled back out of the window. "Goodnight. Do me a favor and burn those pajamas." 

"I don't plan on it." 

+++

Author's Note: This has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever written...I regret nothing >:).

-Bunn.