Despite fame and success, Louella Starling is in deep melancholy for she believes that she's an impostor. One day she discovered that there's a mystical bird called Alpas that gives miracles and extraordinary courage to break free. Louella recruits...
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Within us resides both light and darkness. What do you feed the most is the question.
/17/ Red Banner
[LOUELLA]
FOR the first time since the tragedy happened, I prayed hard before I sleep that night.
It was shameful when I only remembered to pray when I can no longer bear it anymore. Halo-halo na ang nararamdaman ng isip at puso ko.
I admit that I am not religious but I've always believed that there is someone up there who's listening. Though I'm not really certain if God is listening to my half-hearted prayers, that night, I sincerely surrendered all my feelings.
I prayed and surrendered myself to because I felt . . . filthy.
From the bottom of my heart I know I cannot lie to myself that I liked that brief intimate moment with Lysander.
Pero kaagad din akong natauhan. Kaya matapos ang ilang segundo ay natauhan ako't tinulak ko siya palayo. Ni hindi ko na siya nilingon nang magpaalam ako.
I felt filthy because in the midst of everything that's happening, nakuha ko pang makaramdam ng pansariling interes.
It's a mistake and it's wrong for me to feel that way.
And . . . it also felt like betraying my friend who told me exactly to stay away from him. Yet, it happened. What's worse . . . These feelings. . .
Nang sumunod na araw ay parang walang nangyari nang magkita kami ni Lysander sa kumedor para mag-almusal. Parang normal lang din ang pakikipag-usap namin sa parents niya and later on they were disappointed to bid us farewell.
The illusion of us being together quickly vanished. We can't stay in that fantasy for long because of the messed-up reality I caused.
Hinatid ulit kami ng chopper nila pabalik ng Manila. Buong biyahe ko siyang hindi matingnan kaya hindi rin kami halos nakapag-usap dahil nang makarating kami sa destinasyon namin ay kaagad ulit kaming bumiyahe papunta naman sa meeting place na itinalaga ni Professor Silang para sa araw na 'to.
After Lee messaged the rebel's leader about the evidence, Professor Silang immediately wanted to meet us for that matter. When Lee inquired about Raven's safety, ang tanging sinagot nito sa email ay pag-uusapan namin ng personal ang bagay na 'yon.
Nagwakas ang paglalakbay ng isip ko nang mamalayan ko na lang na nasa harapan na kami ng isang gusali at nang marinig ko ang boses ni Lysander.
"Lou," bigla niyang tawag sa'kin. "Tungkol sa kagabi—"
"H-huwag muna nating pag-usapan 'yon," putol ko sa kanya. It's not the right time to talk about it. Or maybe we'll just have to forget it. Besides, we're both vulnerable that time—we were only looking for a temporary comfort.
