I want to be loved.
So badly and deeply and immensely that it hurt to breath.
I want a friend to be with me every second of every day,
I want a boyfriend to want to be with me so badly it makes him crazy.
I want a family so close it's suffocating.
I want to be loved.
I need it.
I need it so bad that I give it out willingly to anyone who will take it,
And I give my whole heart so readily and openly.
I love so deeply and intensely that I give my life to each person, just for them to throw it away when they are done.
I want to be loved.
But every time I love I learn what it's like to not breathe.
To be drowning from what ifs, and what I could've changed.
I know that the people I loved did not love me.
At least not the way I need to be loved.
Does this mean I'm unlovable?
Have I created something so pure in my head that no one will ever be able to achieve that level of affection?
Have I created this false fairytale idea just to hurt myself?
Do I need to be loved? Or do I need to feel?
Or better yet should I just not feel at all....
The world is this big factory waking up and going to sleep day in and out.
I thought love made it better.
But maybe it just makes it worse.
Because it makes all the lows that much lower.
And I don't have the strength to fight for a high anymore...
C.G.
YOU ARE READING
No one is there
Poetrypoetry book. all the things I've written that I could never say out loud. Some topics may be difficult for some people so check for disclaimers .
