Blood & Sugar

Chapter 10

 Today is the day, there's no avoiding it anymore. Today is the day it all becomes clear and Sofia says her last goodbye to one of the most important people in her life. By nightfall, they will have buried him and she will be seeing Lara and her mom off as they board the plane taking them back home. She would never admit it but she is scared, terrified even, of being left alone with her own thoughts.

Straightening out her black knee-length dress with a bow at the waist and delicate lace around the collar, she remembers splurging on this after the end of last semester as a reward to herself for surviving it. She kept it thinking she might meet a nice guy and they might go to an art show or something and there would be this beautiful dress waiting to be worn. But, she never did and doubts she will ever want to pull it out again after wearing it today.

The rest of the day is a blur as she focuses on just keeping it together. She vaguely remembers resting her single white rose on his casket and then everyone hurrying away back to the house to pay their respects. Sofia can't say she was surprised to see so many people show up because she had never met anyone who didn't love her grandfather.

It was interesting to witness a group of gorgeous almost otherworldly-looking people walking in and respectfully, almost quietly, coming to speak to them and offer a few kind words. Among them were Hiari, Javier, and Cassius at the forefront. The air in the room seemed to shift and all eyes went to them, their presence enthralling to all in attendance in a way that was hard to describe or understand.

Javier and Hiari both hugged Sofia then spent time speaking with Gwen and Lara. The others in the small group were somewhat familiar but Sofie's brain was having a hard time functioning so she didn't even try, simply thanking them for coming and giving the best smile she could muster for their kindness. Cassius did not speak to her much but did gently kiss her hand, his soulful eyes seemingly looking straight into her soul, seeing more than she wanted anyone to. Still, her eyes followed his confident glide when they took their leave.

It feels as if she can finally exhale in relief as everyone starts to leave until it is just herself, Lara, her mom, and Hiari who insisted on staying behind and helping. Tiredly, she shuffles over to the older woman who gives her a quick hug "I know sweetheart, I know it may not seem like it, but it won't always hurt this damn bad and I really am so sorry. Huan was a hell of a man and one of the best friends I ever had."

Sofia nods and attempts to smile but she can tell by the look on Hiari's face that she can see right through it "Alright, you go get ready to take your family to the airport. I can finish cleaning up here" she tilts her head signaling to the room and Sofia opens her mouth to protest but Hiari is having none of it, pinning her with a stern look. It leaves her with no choice but to turn around and walk towards the bedrooms.

Frankly, she no longer has the energy to fight it after the trying day. Almost as if on autopilot, Sofia changes and helps Lara get her stuff into the car, finding that her mom already had. The trip to the airport is mostly silent and as she stands outside the terminal hugging them goodbye, she contemplates holding on forever so they can't leave. Smothering down the urge, she lets go knowing they already feel guilty for having to leave. They blow her a kiss and she returns it and just like that, they disappear to board the plane.

Her legs feel like they are weighed down by cement and her heart is going to rip in two but she walks back to her car anyway. For a few minutes, she sits inside, key in the ignition, and calls Zoya, needing to hear her reassuring voice. On the drive home without realizing it she drives to the cemetery, by now it has to be around 10 pm. There is no one in sight to stop her from walking over to her grandfather's resting place. Sofia can't quite remember when she sat on the ground nor when the rain started, much less how she ended up laying down onto the still fresh dirt.

Time slows to a crawl, completely meaningless as her grief flows out of her. It is difficult to say how long she lays there in the mud as the heavy rain pours over her, washing away the tears that were finally falling, streaming out like an open wound. Sofia only becomes vaguely aware of how cold she is and how violently her body is shaking when someone tries to gently lift her off the ground. Her body is going numb and her mind is following. The only thing she registers is the sight of dark velvet and silky wet curls before the world fades to black.