When the Stars Align Part One: Yoongi

Chapter Twenty One: How Can We Help?

I woke with a start and felt like I was suffocating. I groaned and rolled over, trying to pull away from Yoongi, but he wouldn't let me.

"Yoongi, get off," I said, pushing at his arm.

Yoongi made a hurt sound. "You don't have to be mean about it," he told me as he pulled his arm from around me and rolled over to his other side.

As soon as his arm was off of me, I jumped out of bed and ran for the balcony. I stood there, sucking in deep breaths of the cool air. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to catch my breath. My whole body felt like something was sitting on top of it. I was trembling, and I couldn't seem to calm down. I sank down to the hard cement of the balcony and leaned my head on the seat of one of the chairs, still trying to suck in deep breaths.

The balcony door slid open and Yoongi was instantly at my side. "Cassi? Baby, what's wrong?" He made to reach for me, then stopped himself, pulling his arms back to his sides like he was afraid I would break or something.

I tried to answer him, but it just came out in rough pants of breath that didn't feel like it was fully reaching my lungs.

"What can I do to help, Cassi?" Yoongi asked, his voice sounding helpless.

I shook my head. There was nothing he could do. I was having a panic attack. I was gulping in air so fast that I started hiccupping. Yoongi got up and went back inside the hotel suite. When he returned, he knelt down beside me and handed me a glass of water. I took a drink of it, then another.

Yoongi was there, in front of me, staring at me the entire time. I stared back at him, letting his face that I loved so much ground me, and slowly, I started to calm down, my breathing started to even out, and the spots I had been seeing disappeared.

Once I finally felt like I could talk, I reached out for Yoongi, my fingers wrapping around his arm. "Th-thank you, b-b-baby."

"Are you okay?" he asked me, both his tone and his face laced with concern.

"I'm okay," I told him. "Just a panic attack."

"Do you have those often?" He asked as he sat down and pulled me up against his side.

I shrugged at him. "Often enough."

"Did something trigger it?" He asked me. His voice was soft. "I don't want to pry, I just want to know so that I can help in the future."

As if I needed to love this man any more.

"It was a nightmare," I told him.

"About what?" He asked. He pulled me over into his lap so that we could face each other.

"I don't..." I started, then trailed off.

"You don't know?" he asked. "Or you don't want to tell me? Either is fine, Kitten. It's your choice."

I didn't want to tell him, but his caring and sweetness just about made it impossible.

"They made you choose between BTS and me, and you didn't choose me," I told him. He started to speak, but I held up my hand. I wasn't finished. "We were getting married, and instead of saying 'I do', you decided to reject me as your soulmate instead. Then we were having a fight, and you told me to leave and never come back. You said that I was the worst thing that ever happened to you. Then you were hooking up with a back-up dancer. Then you told me that there was no way that you could ever love somebody like me. Then you we-"

Yoongi leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine, shutting me up. When he pulled back, he gently caressed my cheek with his knuckles. "You had a nightmare about a million different ways that I could leave you?"